tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-84696219361603874992023-11-16T08:15:22.766-06:00It's Jess!Fueled by anxiety and glitter. Mostly glitter.Jess @ It's Jess!http://www.blogger.com/profile/02985255019884625767noreply@blogger.comBlogger258125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8469621936160387499.post-20723971142086504412017-08-22T08:40:00.000-05:002017-08-22T08:40:02.639-05:00Postcards from the Back RowWhen we first brought the baby home from the hospital and he wasn't sleeping well at night we didn't worry about it much. We told ourselves, "This is just how newborns are... we just have to get through this part. It WILL get better."<br />
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We told ourselves that for days and then weeks and then months. It still feels like we are in a permanent state of triage. I think it's best that we didn't know what we were in for.<br />
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Quentin is now 7 months old, and the sleep situation is decidedly not better. Sometimes I think they might be worse.<br />
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Showers and makeup and hobbies and having a tidy-ish house still feel like luxuries. I'm sitting next to a mountain of unfolded laundry right now writing this while the baby fusses in the swing because it feels important to get this out.<br />
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When I was in the fourth grade in Mrs. Vandergrift's class we had a daily task after lunch. We would sit down at our desks, quietly copy down the new vocabulary word she had written on the chalkboard, copy the definition out of our dictionaries (how I loved that dictionary!), and then use the word in a sentence.<br />
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One day I could not see the word written on the chalkboard. No matter how hard I squinted, I could not see it. I sat at my desk with my tiny fourth grader heart fluttering in a state of near panic trying to work out what it was. I watched each of my classmates finish up their copying and sentence composing one by one. I prayed that someone else (someone much less shy then me) would raise their hand and tell Mrs. Vandergrift that they also could not see the word. I had never up until that point felt so much panic. I realized everyone else could see the word just fine. It was just me. There was something wrong with me.<br />
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It turns out there was... I needed glasses.<br />
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This is exactly what it feels like to have a child that doesn't sleep.<br />
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At first I was part of a brotherhood of other parents of non-sleepers. But one by one, as their sweet babies finally sleep through the night, I'm still standing here trying desperately to make out the word on the chalkboard. The one that will tell me exactly how to get this baby to go to sleep.<br />
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It's starting to feel lonely out here.<br />
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There's a lot of information out there on the best way to get a child to sleep. OH GOD. So much information. I haven't found a lot of information on the emotional toll of this situation.<br />
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People have a lot of things that they say to exhausted parents. <br />
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"He'll sleep when he's ready."<br />
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"Treasure this time you have with him. Someday he won't want to be held."<br />
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"You're doing a great job!"<br />
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"Have you tried crying it out?" (YES EVERY DAY... Oh... you meant the baby... not me.)<br />
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Their intentions are so so so good (and every encouraging word has meant so much to me), but at some point you realize these are just the things people say to you when they don't know what else to say... like telling the grieving that they "are in my thoughts and prayers"... it's just the thing you say because that is what you say in times like this.<br />
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Have you ever repeated a word over and over again until it loses it's meaning? <br />
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One thing I know not to do is to google 'sleep'. The internet is full of Helpful Hannahs who inevitably tell a clearly desperate very tired mother that it sounds like her baby is 'overtired'.<br />
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Sigh.<br />
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Yeah... no shit, Hannah. I wouldn't be here asking strangers on the internet how to get my baby to go to sleep (and stay there) if he weren't.<br />
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There are also lots of Not-so-helpful Nancys that like to tell you horrifying things about the statistics showing that lack of sleep is connected to a whole host of behavioral issues in children.<br />
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Go swallow a knife, Nancy.<br />
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I guess the point of this post (besides needing to unload and unburden) is this... if you, whomever you are, stumbled upon this in a similar state of worry and frustration and tears I just need you to know how NOT alone you are.<br />
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They keep telling us it gets better... so I guess it does?? In the meantime, it's okay to be sad and scared and feel like a failure. But don't do it for too long because you are not failing. You're not failing because you gave enough of a shit to google 'sleep' AGAIN even though you knew you were entering a minefield of terrible advice from people who have no idea what they are talking about, and you ended up here.<br />
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I wish I could tell you what the words on the chalkboard say... but i'm still squinting in the back row, and I'm glad to have some company.<br />
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<br />Jess @ It's Jess!http://www.blogger.com/profile/02985255019884625767noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8469621936160387499.post-73433995331733399982017-07-27T12:23:00.000-05:002017-07-27T12:23:21.182-05:00Things That Are (Sort of) Getting Me ThroughMy <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Keurig-K575-Single-Programmable-Platinum/dp/B018UQ5VEK/ref=sr_1_5?s=kitchen&ie=UTF8&qid=1501174804&sr=1-5&keywords=keurig" target="_blank">coffeemaker</a><br />
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The new seasons of Game of Thrones and Insecure<br />
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<a href="http://squamishbaby.com/2013/03/14/dear-tired-mom-whose-child-wont-sleep/" target="_blank">Anonymous comrades on the internet who have also been "in the shit"</a><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<br />But one day there will be less tears (from both of you), and all of the frustration, anger, guilt and resentment will have somehow evaporated. You may not sleep a full night 100%, or even 50% of the time. But the wake-ups will become less a disruptive, if not an accepted part of parenting your growing child.</blockquote>
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>And you will have found a strength within your spirit that you never knew existed.</i></blockquote>
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Taking a social media break and the associated self-comparison and self-doubt.<br />
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Reading <a href="http://www.goodreads.com/glitterandanxiety" target="_blank">good books</a><br />
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Remembering the moment he was born... somehow in the roughest moments remembering the magic of that one can really help.<br />
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Asking for help. This one is a work in progress.<br />
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To any other moms that find themselves struggling with the sleep deprivation and feelings of failure and helplessness associated with a "fussy" baby, keep your chin up. You are definitely not alone out here in the muck and mud of this experience. Try to do something nice for yourself sometimes and don't feel bad about putting the baby in a safe place and walking away for a few minutes. Jess @ It's Jess!http://www.blogger.com/profile/02985255019884625767noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8469621936160387499.post-12125968165656369362017-04-19T12:00:00.000-05:002017-04-19T12:01:45.868-05:00New Baby Must-HavesHi. It's me, Jess. Shouting from across the void.<br />
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A void filled with piles of unfolded baby clothes, dirty diapers, and those little disposable plastic cap things that go on the ear thermometer.<br />
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Also 7 trillion breast pump parts that have to be washed and sterilized all of the goddamn time. <br />
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You guys, I'm so tired. Everyone tells you how tired you'll be, but you just have no way of really understanding just how tired you will be.<br />
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And breastfeeding is just a treat, she said sarcastically.<br />
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But finding yourself in survival mode for 3 months can really put into perspective what really matters in life... like having a top notch baby swing and baby pajamas that zip from the bottom so you don't have to strip your baby every time you change his diaper.<br />
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And, you know, loving something with every fiber of your being. That shines through the darkness too.<br />
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Here are some of the things that have been absolute lifesavers for us... many were gifted to us, but many we discovered on our own as rookie parents with an Amazon Prime account.<br />
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First of all, <u>AMAZON PRIME</u>, you guys. This would be my #1 gift for any new parent. My god how we have taken advantage of that free shipping.<br />
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WASH CLOTHS - I remember after my baby showers thinking 'I have way too many tiny wash cloths'. I was wrong. These are handy for everything. Wiping noses. Wiping barfs. Cleaning babies. Cleaning yourself. <br />
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BURP CLOTHS - My mom made me tons of flannel burp cloths and I go through about 20 of them a day. I love them so much. I keep them everywhere and I usually end up with about 5 of them next to his bassinet every morning from carrying them with me from night time feedings. If you don't have a cool mom to make these for you, I've been super impressed with a free one we got from <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Burts-Bees-Baby-Organic-Alphabet/dp/B01HG74QLI/ref=sr_1_2_s_it?s=baby-products&ie=UTF8&qid=1492608956&sr=1-2&keywords=burt%27s%2Bbees%2Bburp%2Bcloths&th=1" target="_blank">Burt's Bees</a>, but they are a little pricy. <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Gerber-Birdseye-Flatfold-Cloth-Diapers/dp/B007VBYVVA/ref=sr_1_5_s_it?s=baby-products&ie=UTF8&qid=1492609004&sr=1-5&keywords=cloth+diapers" target="_blank">Cloth diapers</a> also work great. Get yourself about 30. Seriously.<br />
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WEARABLE BLANKETS - We use <a href="https://www.amazon.com/SleepSack-Wearable-Blanket-Elephant-Graphics/dp/B00PY2RAZM/ref=sr_1_4_s_it?s=baby-products&ie=UTF8&qid=1492608742&sr=1-4&keywords=sleep%2Bblanket&th=1" target="_blank">Halo SleepSacks</a>. It's part of our night time routine to put him in one of these, and I think it has helped him understand the transition from awake time to sleep time. We have a warm, sweaty little baby, but these things are light enough that they keep him cozy without making him too hot. We have two of these, plus a fleece one for colder nights.<br />
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MUSLIN BLANKETS - Anyone in the business of procreation has heard of the ubiquitous Aden & Anais muslin blankets. I don't own a single one. I'm sure they're great, but they seem pretty expensive for a very simply hemmed square of muslin. My mom made me one that I absolutely love out of a fun piece of muslin she bought online. Wade also got a great deal on a fantastic <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Antibacterial-Absorbent-Comfortable-Suitable-Delicate/dp/B016I2XLBS/ref=pd_sim_75_2?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=B016I2XMX0&pd_rd_r=1EQVJKKZ2EP3P10XM3X2&pd_rd_w=8NXzj&pd_rd_wg=bMmC8&refRID=1EQVJKKZ2EP3P10XM3X2&th=1" target="_blank">4 layer muslin blanket </a>on Amazon that we love. It's plain white and just about the coziest thing you can wrap a baby in... SO SOFT. It's also great for creating a nice backdrop for a photo. <br />
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PAJAMAS - Quentin basically lived in pajamas for the first month of his life. Now I make an effort to put him in some kind of outfit every day (mostly because we got so many cute ones as gifts and I feel guilty not using them), but I would be 100% okay with him just living in soft pajamas. The two standouts for us have been from Cat & Jack and Burt's Bees. The <a href="http://www.target.com/p/baby-3-pack-sleep-n-play-baby-cat-jack-153-mint-white/-/A-51111410?lnk=rec|pdpipadh1|related_prods_vv|pdpipadh1|51111410|2" target="_blank">Cat & Jack pajamas</a> are from Target and they have a reverse zip which is SO AWESOME. You unzip the pajamas from the bottom so that you can change a diaper without completely undressing the baby. They are lightweight, soft and pretty decently made. They come in a pack of 3 for about $13. The <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Burts-Bees-Baby-Twinkle-Midnight/dp/B01M00NU1I/ref=sr_1_sc_1_s_it?s=baby-products&ie=UTF8&qid=1492609334&sr=1-1-spell&keywords=Burt%27s%2Bbeest%2Bpajamas&th=1&psc=1" target="_blank">Burt's Bees pajamas</a> are the Cadillac of pajamas. They don't have the reverse zip, but they are the softest and most well-made pajamas we have. We got one as a gift and went out and bought more. They cost around $12 each... so definitely pricier but also definitely worth every penny.<br />
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BOPPY INFANT LOUNGER - I put this <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Boppy-Newborn-Lounger-Elephant-Love/dp/B014A7MABU/ref=sr_1_1_s_it?s=baby-products&ie=UTF8&qid=1492609887&sr=1-1&keywords=boppy%2Binfant%2Blounger&th=1" target="_blank">infant lounger pillow</a> on my registry impulsively and received it from a friend at my shower. I had no idea how much I would use this thing. Quentin has basically lived in this pillow for the past 3 months and he is sadly about to outgrow it. We use it on the couch so that he can chill with us in the evening. It's nice having him with us on the couch instead of in his rock n' play or swing. We can watch TV or eat dinner and still interact with him. It was also awesome for tummy time early on when he wasn't loving laying on his tummy. I think it helped position him more comfortably. It's also great for positioning for impromptu photo shoots!<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoLsNbk5_YQ2V2ne_JSsl7MAKdIDsCHiBw2cW81P_7kGxkx3VGmerJF2gQc8mkxKTQub92o7RTxESJeHvGiP0opSVvLawCwD8Zep8gSLn5rL-AbHSA42EKTp-gWzqBloRNs9IOfDcec__Z/s1600/IMG_3256.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoLsNbk5_YQ2V2ne_JSsl7MAKdIDsCHiBw2cW81P_7kGxkx3VGmerJF2gQc8mkxKTQub92o7RTxESJeHvGiP0opSVvLawCwD8Zep8gSLn5rL-AbHSA42EKTp-gWzqBloRNs9IOfDcec__Z/s320/IMG_3256.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Please note the ever-present pile of baby laundry in the background</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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BABYCONNECT APP - <a href="https://www.baby-connect.com/" target="_blank">This app</a> was recommended to us by my sister in law Kristine. We use it to keep track of diaper changes and breastfeeding. There are lots of other ways to use this app, but this is mainly what we have used it for and it has been 100% indispensable. Every time you go to the pediatrician or lactation clinic they will ask you about the number of wet diapers and nursing sessions or bottles in the past 24 hours. This makes figuring that out super simple. I also keep track of his weight for no other purpose than my own entertainment. <br />
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WEESCHOOL APP - I heard about <a href="https://weeschool.com/our-app/" target="_blank">this app</a> through <a href="http://www.babyrabies.com/" target="_blank">Baby Rabies</a>. There are so many baby development milestone charts on Pinterest, but I think they were making me anxious. This app displays just the milestones to watch for during the current month you are in age-wise. It also gives you simple activities to do with your baby to help hit these milestones and other developments down the road. It's super straightforward and simple. I love it.Jess @ It's Jess!http://www.blogger.com/profile/02985255019884625767noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8469621936160387499.post-27311901194025594102017-03-05T08:35:00.000-06:002017-03-05T08:35:26.538-06:00Quod Erat DemonstrandumIntroducing Quentin Eliot Davis...<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPmXS-TBqkSGaUTeksmKD7BZPf1Su5JIMVVBwLCI9oy8tKwEDtRmDetMJA33YTQWXyPXhJYXR4YirOMIr-AE2IffxCgqvDP5uaSi4aNUyC2qYr9qULmgLPpc1AXH8mhawH82sXI0f6X3kx/s1600/01.21.davis4266_-_14.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPmXS-TBqkSGaUTeksmKD7BZPf1Su5JIMVVBwLCI9oy8tKwEDtRmDetMJA33YTQWXyPXhJYXR4YirOMIr-AE2IffxCgqvDP5uaSi4aNUyC2qYr9qULmgLPpc1AXH8mhawH82sXI0f6X3kx/s320/01.21.davis4266_-_14.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
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Our QED.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiI5yDifmJa82KE7MD_hyphenhyphenp-l1NtknBAdu4odyiSgEgJFSLxMNpWxokLVz_NycB1XeD6GybmFkVRFmyrVspczXVeGbU-vUi1Rdr8U8dI__UB6K2ZEJxts3AOPo_fEdiXXzQbRPh0tUCrxT5/s1600/QED.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="155" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiI5yDifmJa82KE7MD_hyphenhyphenp-l1NtknBAdu4odyiSgEgJFSLxMNpWxokLVz_NycB1XeD6GybmFkVRFmyrVspczXVeGbU-vUi1Rdr8U8dI__UB6K2ZEJxts3AOPo_fEdiXXzQbRPh0tUCrxT5/s640/QED.PNG" width="640" /></a></div>
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In other words, it's Latin for "I win, idiots."<br />
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Quentin was born January 19th, 2017 at 4:04 pm. I was in labor for almost 12 hours exactly.<br />
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You guys... I did it NATURALLY. <br />
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I only stress this because I am so inordinately proud of myself for being able to do this. Having a lived a relatively pain-free life... no surgeries, broken bones, etc., I feel like a pain warrior now. I feel like a warrior in general. <br />
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I feel like this:<br />
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I spent a large part of my pregnancy doing Google searches like this:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilPv-xwLUm8sjzbA5mrHJe1x5sKRcfMznHY-XCq5J4sg5JDTnKjeyTT3-iAvxhxKYR0bvwV7i-_vnR9ZObK4gB1vkLfd30T9eWAvT2tVfcr1QWl_bXH-8GUfzpcBtsomwJR_2V84NONgmx/s1600/google.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="67" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilPv-xwLUm8sjzbA5mrHJe1x5sKRcfMznHY-XCq5J4sg5JDTnKjeyTT3-iAvxhxKYR0bvwV7i-_vnR9ZObK4gB1vkLfd30T9eWAvT2tVfcr1QWl_bXH-8GUfzpcBtsomwJR_2V84NONgmx/s640/google.PNG" width="640" /></a></div>
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I was planning on giving birth naturally, but it's kind of hard to plan for something you have no ability to realistically conceptualize.<br />
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I just knew I wanted to give it my best shot. <br />
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My next post will be the full story of my labor and Quentin's delivery.<br />
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It is one of the most spectacular and hardest things I've ever experienced.<br />
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Now that I'm finally feeling a little less like a walking disaster of out of control crying, leaking breasts, and unwashed hair, I'm planning to start blogging more consistently.<br />
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Mainly as an exercise in maintaining my sanity because you guys this newborn phase is batshit insane.<br />
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<br />Jess @ It's Jess!http://www.blogger.com/profile/02985255019884625767noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8469621936160387499.post-54096472426118096582016-10-10T09:17:00.001-05:002016-10-10T13:09:10.503-05:00What are Hobbies?I've got that thing where you're so overwhelmed and stressed that instead of lying awake restless all night you just keep sleeping as if you might be able to sleep through the entire season of your life and wake up when you have less things you need to do.<br />
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<a href="http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/hibernol/n10335" target="_blank">Kind of like this, but with anxiety</a>.<br />
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I'm sure everything will be great once I'm an employed human being, a student, AND the mother of a newborn. Right? RIGHT????<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcq4RShYrQDmX1zDIWbNZ__dQY0YzHNxUGvjm8HroDa5_f7at_ksOQXDSHieZOsQavbSusDID-msgr6PanvpeSdmDB6M0XTmhte-he2pbKlCnkUTNua4Xc-nRMdx_v2qZOibBu2f8H53a-/s1600/hibernol.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="277" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcq4RShYrQDmX1zDIWbNZ__dQY0YzHNxUGvjm8HroDa5_f7at_ksOQXDSHieZOsQavbSusDID-msgr6PanvpeSdmDB6M0XTmhte-he2pbKlCnkUTNua4Xc-nRMdx_v2qZOibBu2f8H53a-/s320/hibernol.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />Jess @ It's Jess!http://www.blogger.com/profile/02985255019884625767noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8469621936160387499.post-60173230172420723992016-10-06T13:54:00.000-05:002016-10-10T09:03:29.793-05:00Rage Against the ZenI read something several weeks ago that has been rattling around in my brain ever since.<br />
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Joanna from A Cup of Jo shared <a href="http://cupofjo.com/2016/08/wise-words-zen-shorts/#more-97553" target="_blank">this zen parable</a> from a children's book called <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Zen-Shorts-Caldecott-Honor-Book/dp/0439339111/ref=as_li_ss_tl?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=&linkCode=sl1&tag=acoj-20&linkId=55f36b6c7a35fe671aac58d1287ff2f3" target="_blank">Zen Shorts</a>:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
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Two traveling monks reached a town where there was a young woman waiting to step out of her sedan chair. The rains had made deep puddles and she couldn’t step across without spoiling her silken robes. She stood there, looking very cross and impatient. She was scolding her attendants. They had nowhere to place the packages they held for her, so they couldn’t help her across the puddle.<br />
The younger monk noticed the woman, said nothing, and walked by. The older monk quickly picked her up and put her on his back, transported her across the water, and put her down on the other side. She didn’t thank the older monk; she just shoved him out of the way and departed.<br />
As they continued on their way, the young monk was brooding and preoccupied. After several hours, unable to hold his silence, he spoke out. “That woman back there was very selfish and rude, but you picked her up on your back and carried her! Then, she didn’t even thank you!”<br />
“I set the woman down hours ago,” the older monk replied. “Why are you still carrying her?”</blockquote>
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You guys... I'm currently standing at the metaphorical base of this people tower:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWraemey5ntY1T-zSfOSH_F8bGRkkUUaVqZvNZdurNp-S1YrggM0ZvPgIFvWpaKHFusdUJi7sB5ec10ItZJtZ6N5pXVVQOIyC8fQUVkK3oASYgJfJqkEUNhwT8CKWaYxdoaF9gcFQlYkdM/s1600/tower+of+people.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWraemey5ntY1T-zSfOSH_F8bGRkkUUaVqZvNZdurNp-S1YrggM0ZvPgIFvWpaKHFusdUJi7sB5ec10ItZJtZ6N5pXVVQOIyC8fQUVkK3oASYgJfJqkEUNhwT8CKWaYxdoaF9gcFQlYkdM/s400/tower+of+people.jpg" width="227" /></a></div>
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Let me introduce you to a few!</div>
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There's the guy I watched deliberately throw garbage on the floor at the art museum during the annual Color Party. Garbage. On the floor. In a <i>MUSEUM.</i></div>
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The Color Party was in April. Still annoyed.</div>
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And then there's the old lady who lived in the apartment below me when I was 25ish. She called the police on my several times because she claimed I was too noisy. I wasn't.</div>
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She's probably dead now. So I can almost let that one go soon.</div>
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A bus driver that almost ran me off of the road last night.</div>
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About 50 different co-workers due to 50 different interactions that left me with an internal dialogue that went something like this:</div>
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And something about being pregnant, listening to Beyonce's Lemonade album on a loop, and watching the last season of Game of Thrones has dialed up my already hot temper to eleventy. When it comes to fight or flight I am always ready for fight. I walk down the streets of Old Town willing someone to start some shit with me just so I can have an excuse. </div>
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You guys... this is bad because I am pregnant. And even when I wasn't pregnant, I wasn't really very tough. I'm all talk.</div>
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So I'm trying to learn to let it go.</div>
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Like Tuesday night when I saw this on the front porch of our building:</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiX7eecnFRy3XwIRys3SM6PaQ9MHTDjAYZ1iTQENdL0JvuMedNpx8xF_fSbXneHkoE0V8ZDP02xRyL9lGiOCQHFT4YXP4rKyQDNQLZZAeo9E3zZ5ogT9IeD60m-c0io-u5c8eerPgeVIRZe/s1600/trash.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiX7eecnFRy3XwIRys3SM6PaQ9MHTDjAYZ1iTQENdL0JvuMedNpx8xF_fSbXneHkoE0V8ZDP02xRyL9lGiOCQHFT4YXP4rKyQDNQLZZAeo9E3zZ5ogT9IeD60m-c0io-u5c8eerPgeVIRZe/s320/trash.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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Instead of having a rage meltdown, I calmly carried it 15 feet, put it in the garbage, and then went about my life. </div>
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Well I did take a photo of it and send it to my husband, but I still count it as a win.</div>
Jess @ It's Jess!http://www.blogger.com/profile/02985255019884625767noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8469621936160387499.post-67341231496027547472016-08-23T11:40:00.001-05:002016-08-23T11:40:38.109-05:00Welcome Back, Kotter<div style="text-align: left;">
Yesterday was my first day as a college student after a 7 year unintentional sabbatical.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiclTXKc6grVu1iKZ7O4ETTwHswlaVjP53EBqQnWh_eqLL7QJcu5En-lRfrQRYlKKdRGXkDQpFG1W1DGPwPdfIZpWQEj6Kd69Mel-POpIyER2NKKTh6qqGt3mfkHWQxUTRSlgl6T-hG1M5Y/s1600/regret.gif" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiclTXKc6grVu1iKZ7O4ETTwHswlaVjP53EBqQnWh_eqLL7QJcu5En-lRfrQRYlKKdRGXkDQpFG1W1DGPwPdfIZpWQEj6Kd69Mel-POpIyER2NKKTh6qqGt3mfkHWQxUTRSlgl6T-hG1M5Y/s320/regret.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
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My top skills as a student in days past were:</div>
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<ul>
<li>Overachieving for a month</li>
<li>Stressing myself out because of my inability to prioritize</li>
<li>Ghosting all of my classes</li>
<li>Showing up for one last class to see if I felt differently about it</li>
<li>Withdrawing from all my classes</li>
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I was especially good at the withdrawing from all of my classes part. </div>
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I have notebooks, folders, and good pens. I'm too big to fail, you guys. Right??</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinZYxWrybCMqCQSHLUfbviZ_x906EJeauAPJqEdAdwkZuYshh8fl7428bklK9bGxJ9EXE79Upu6UbA9uS57uHUeT9fv0spz-uziAaOcLD_mwosMkn4w6uFRITIWcitwB8C9qiW8wpXNlWJ/s1600/obama_worried.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="262" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinZYxWrybCMqCQSHLUfbviZ_x906EJeauAPJqEdAdwkZuYshh8fl7428bklK9bGxJ9EXE79Upu6UbA9uS57uHUeT9fv0spz-uziAaOcLD_mwosMkn4w6uFRITIWcitwB8C9qiW8wpXNlWJ/s320/obama_worried.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
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In other news I <i>think</i> I'm starting to feel the baby move. Maybe??? Honestly, it could just be gas, but I'm choosing to believe that it is a for real baby spinning around in my innards. </div>
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Name update: still no name.</div>
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Jess @ It's Jess!http://www.blogger.com/profile/02985255019884625767noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8469621936160387499.post-58106861233917034262016-08-04T08:48:00.000-05:002016-08-04T08:48:57.547-05:00When Does the Glowing Start?What does glowing even mean? Sweaty? I'm definitely sweaty. I've also got a lot of zits.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj23srtjzajWjHwUrkjr20KSNW-V8S1r6-wzy68AvKE2Matjagcso3OZKwSXT2R28QM4WvNOUUwnIEgSIMyVwZ_ndkEhzPXwUghjU5yOGJw1yYf3kc3pDB52kXLKw4eQYUYPWhGHnjXUSmb/s1600/ugh.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="156" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj23srtjzajWjHwUrkjr20KSNW-V8S1r6-wzy68AvKE2Matjagcso3OZKwSXT2R28QM4WvNOUUwnIEgSIMyVwZ_ndkEhzPXwUghjU5yOGJw1yYf3kc3pDB52kXLKw4eQYUYPWhGHnjXUSmb/s400/ugh.gif" width="400" /></a></div>
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My doctor told me that I need to start thinking about choosing a pediatrician for the baby. And, you guys, it just seems ridiculous. <br />
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I'm so ill-prepared for this child in every other way. So far this is what we have purchased for the baby:<br />
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- a pack and play that my mom found cheap on Facebook Marketplace<br />
- a diaper bag my mom found at TJ Maxx<br />
- A tiny baby cardigan that reminded me of The Dude's cardigan from The Big Lebowski<br />
- a record player<br />
- a Snoopy Sno-cone machine<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgle60yXkCfNwXGHtgWUVUQ5VnDgYwY0946KrY7-MfVDafVtnOs6ka9ItlB5lrwCer8sdSsfyXRr4PtKcx1dqcmJl1fGBYjQF7Sccp350Cz_q7u208WlQzUSlYJ_y-3vs_iRBMZgyMGqA_-/s1600/snoopy-sno-cone-maker.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgle60yXkCfNwXGHtgWUVUQ5VnDgYwY0946KrY7-MfVDafVtnOs6ka9ItlB5lrwCer8sdSsfyXRr4PtKcx1dqcmJl1fGBYjQF7Sccp350Cz_q7u208WlQzUSlYJ_y-3vs_iRBMZgyMGqA_-/s320/snoopy-sno-cone-maker.jpg" width="298" /></a></div>
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Am I even allowed to be a parent? I'm really starting to question the person that signed off on me being in charge of a baby.<br />
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In other news, the <a href="http://www.ulta.com/run-boy-run-salvation-eyeshadow-palette?productId=xlsImpprod12781057" target="_blank">Run Boy Run palette</a> from Makeup Revolution London is pretty great. Only $10!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLSHdvvLZdEpFmugXZmYu_5WRIwVkUEG9AoB8GjSCqlPcGFxncmJGNo8zLJeb-bvIxkpbSWxa85XzFRk-RE4cjhP9B64ZQHhwM7TgHFWMvhrUcRQCz-0KrSFw361qTH_8cgjFhP7RneiG1/s1600/palette.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLSHdvvLZdEpFmugXZmYu_5WRIwVkUEG9AoB8GjSCqlPcGFxncmJGNo8zLJeb-bvIxkpbSWxa85XzFRk-RE4cjhP9B64ZQHhwM7TgHFWMvhrUcRQCz-0KrSFw361qTH_8cgjFhP7RneiG1/s1600/palette.jpg" /></a></div>
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<br />Jess @ It's Jess!http://www.blogger.com/profile/02985255019884625767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8469621936160387499.post-40931066516112221592016-07-27T13:49:00.003-05:002016-08-04T08:50:26.703-05:00First Trimester: A Life in PicturesHave you heard the news? I'm currently growing a complete human within my own body. A boy human.<br />
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And it turns out I'm not the Earth Goddess pregnant lady I was hoping I would be.<br />
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Since I can't communicate the experience the most effective way... interpretative dance, I'm going to walk you through this 8 week long (14 weeks total) shit show with photos I stole from the internet.<br />
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But mostly this...<br />
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You guys I'm two weeks into the 2nd trimester and I'm still sick as a damn dog. My spirits are not high. I cried last night because I couldn't have wine or a hot bath. And also because I convinced myself that no one even liked me any more. They were only nice to me because they want to be friends with the baby. <br />
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It was one of my best moments.<br />
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We've made zero progress on picking out names. Wade has more of a mid-century modern naming sensibility and I'm much more rustic modern with an Americana twist. <br />
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I'm planning on suggesting the name Fievel today. He will think I'm joking, but I'm not.<br />
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<br />Jess @ It's Jess!http://www.blogger.com/profile/02985255019884625767noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8469621936160387499.post-29786006698238206782016-05-03T09:30:00.000-05:002016-05-03T10:23:13.417-05:00Perfume: A Life Story<br />
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<i>"A perfume is like a piece of clothing, a message, a way of presenting oneself, a costume that differs according to the woman who wears it."</i></div>
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<i>- Paloma Picasso</i></div>
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<b>Elizabeth Arden Sunflowers</b> - This perfume feels like the last time I felt comfortable in my skin until I was 30. This is summer time. This is wheat fields. This is swimming in the Ablah's pool and listening to Matthew Sweet. This is dying your hair bright red with Manic Panic. This is feeling like the best version of yourself while wearing cut-off denim and a t-shirt.<br />
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<b>Calgon Hawaiian Ginger body spray/patchouli oil/Jovan Island Gardenia</b> - The dabbling years. High school wasn't that much fun. I wasn't bullied. I had friends. I did well in classes. But it just wasn't fun. I was lost. I had an idea of the person I was, but I felt trapped by what everyone else thought I was. I loved makeup and clothes. I could recite Shakespeare's Sonnets by heart. I loved romance and adventure. But I was the serious girl who always wore a dark blue hoodie. I didn't think anyone would be okay with the riotous springtime that was happening inside of me.<br />
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<b>Romance by Ralph Lauren</b> - I think I wore this because I wanted to be the kind of person who wore this. I wanted to be softer. I wanted to be inviting and lovely. I had spent the four years of high school building a "barrier of barb and check" around myself. I wanted to tear it down after high school, but I didn't know how. So I wore this perfume, but it didn't change anything. Eventually I just gave up and built the wall higher. To the sky.<br />
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<b>Pink Sugar by Aquolina </b>- This was an attempt at frivolity in my mid 20s. I am frivolous in many ways, but frivolous in a sort of dark carnival way. This perfume is pure cotton candy and pink cherubs playing The Carpenters on lutes. When I wear it now it feels oppressive and like a person who doesn't understand herself.<br />
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<b>Angel by Thierry Mugler</b> - Body chemistry is a weird thing. This perfume smells good on me. On some molecular level this perfume hits my body and becomes something better. I've had to prove to other people who also wear this perfume, that this is what I'm wearing. Diablo Cody calls this the ultimate stripper perfume in her memoir Candy Girl: A Year In the Life of an Unlikely Stripper. I like that.<br />
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<b>Flower Bomb by Viktor & Rolf</b> - This choice says a lot about me. Not the scent though. The scent is good, but whatever. But the fact that I found my perfume... THE PERFUME... and then decided I should try something else because the something else seemed more interesting and distinctive says plenty. I tried to force myself to love it, and I still wear it occasionally when I want to switch it up. I'm just not this girl.<br />
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<b>Angel by Thierry Mugler</b> - This is the perfume I will be wearing when I die. Most likely causes: eating too many cheddar bay biscuits or a freak carnival ride accident.<br />
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<i>Weird question... do you guys look in the mirror when you put on perfume? I do, and I don't know why.</i>Jess @ It's Jess!http://www.blogger.com/profile/02985255019884625767noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8469621936160387499.post-18894406176121615092016-04-25T10:40:00.000-05:002016-04-25T10:40:44.844-05:00Magpie HeartIn the mood for something new and shiny? Always.<br />
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<a href="https://www.baublebar.com/product/26091-lightning-rod-drops.html" target="_blank"><b>Baublebar Lightening Rod Drops</b></a><br />
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I bought these earrings to wear to the Wichita Art Museum Color Party. It was the tenth anniversary of the party so they asked people to dress in any of the colors from the past ten parties.<br />
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I bought a cheap but awesome tonal sequin dress from Forever 34, but when it arrived I realized that I looked like 10 lbs of potatoes in a 5 lbs sack. Nope nope nope. <br />
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I ended up wearing a black goddess-y maxi dress with neon embroidery from last summer. I still wore the earrings, and I copied this hairstyle.<br />
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You guys, I looked like some kind of Electric Kool-Aid Earth Goddess from the Moon. I felt awesome. Totally worth the $34.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcccnmxGyX5CTv4IitwhMaacXsKUQip61UrW-Km98SrR8FT6Qtihz3pe7sYJBqAdQBUe5YrFJtg1-XA9_PJUT6lxgGTVJ0m7V-0PFwqDdWGyt-23v44DuqEm1OD6oD-yiW36Cwel-IpgUV/s1600/46c3c468-bbc3-48f2-a297-29f84e5dc888.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcccnmxGyX5CTv4IitwhMaacXsKUQip61UrW-Km98SrR8FT6Qtihz3pe7sYJBqAdQBUe5YrFJtg1-XA9_PJUT6lxgGTVJ0m7V-0PFwqDdWGyt-23v44DuqEm1OD6oD-yiW36Cwel-IpgUV/s320/46c3c468-bbc3-48f2-a297-29f84e5dc888.jpg" width="198" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Drunk. Terrible Lighting. Very Happy.</td></tr>
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<a href="http://www.overstock.com/Books-Movies-Music-Games/Klimt-Tarot-Pocket-Golden-Edition/9251483/product.html" target="_blank"><b>Klimt Tarot - Pocket Golden Edition</b></a><br />
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Use them. Frame them. Keep them in a pretty silk pouch and just enjoy the knowledge that you possess them. Whatevs.<br />
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Here is a good <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Ultimate-Guide-Tarot-Beginners-Revealing/dp/1592336574/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1461595613&sr=8-2&keywords=tarot+for+beginners" target="_blank">Tarot reference guide</a> for getting started!<br />
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<b>Real Techniques Brushes - <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B004TSFE28/ref=s9_hps_bw_g194_i3" target="_blank">this set</a>, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B004TSFBNK/ref=s9_hps_bw_g194_i1" target="_blank">this set</a>, and <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Real-Techniques-Expert-Face-Brush/dp/B00L72DORG/ref=pd_sim_194_6?ie=UTF8&dpID=21OMguct1WL&dpSrc=sims&preST=_AC_UL160_SR160%2C160_&refRID=13X2GXJC5KRY9RQ2RGP2" target="_blank">THIS BRUSH</a> for starters</b><br />
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You guys. You GUYS. The expert face brush alone is worth its weight in gold. These brushes are so ding dang cheap and so well-made... plus they are synthetic which means precious baby animals are not being harmed for your vain ass self.<br />
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I was a MAC/Sigma/Zoeva/Morphe brush-aholic. These are better. Plus they are so cheap that you can buy multiple sets... and you will want multiple sets. The base shadow brush from the eyes starter set (purple brushes) is a more wonderful MAC 217. Which anyone who spends any amount of time doing make knows is the end all be all of eye shadows brushes. It's your base shadow brush, your crease brush, your blending brush, your concealer brush, your nose contour brush. You can't have enough of them.<br />
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And that expert face brush will change your foundation/blush/bronzer/contour game. So so good.<br />
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OH! And the deluxe crease brush from the eyes starter set is my new go-to concealer blending brush!<br />
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<br />Jess @ It's Jess!http://www.blogger.com/profile/02985255019884625767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8469621936160387499.post-44159552388225287982015-09-14T12:25:00.000-05:002015-09-14T12:25:52.846-05:00Riotous Late Summer Tingles<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-Lgiy9dgzezZAXyLt5eJhG2A3K78UzAfYcA8Ho6gqke-tFhvEJC0NAUrDjUFSCwzZc3gBFaZl7PLhPY4aSEaIRMiPegt6pY5-pYcIsCqh2fN7iL9mEESm9RL16eBEAMahAKAFXyiyhLZ9/s1600/dog-pool-party-lucky-puppy-27.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="347" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-Lgiy9dgzezZAXyLt5eJhG2A3K78UzAfYcA8Ho6gqke-tFhvEJC0NAUrDjUFSCwzZc3gBFaZl7PLhPY4aSEaIRMiPegt6pY5-pYcIsCqh2fN7iL9mEESm9RL16eBEAMahAKAFXyiyhLZ9/s640/dog-pool-party-lucky-puppy-27.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small; text-align: start;">I'm heavily into dog pool parties and other dog pool party related interests these days.</span></td></tr>
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Today I thought I would share some bits and bats that are really putting the jive in my turkey these days.<br />
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1. This mock turtleneck poncho top from Forever 21 which is light enough to wear in 80° weather, but black enough to make me look like a witch (my favorite aesthetic).<br />
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2. Devil's Spoke by Laura Marling... is goth folk a genre? It should be.<br />
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3. This makeup tutorial is the perfect summer to fall transition... nude lip for summer, berry lip for winter.<br />
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4. Opinion sharing time: This should have been the song of the summer.<br />
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Get off my areola, indeed.<br />
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5. Planning on making these <a href="http://thebeeroness.com/2012/09/20/beer-pretzel-bread-bowls-oktoberfest/" target="_blank">pretzel bread bowls</a> and filling them with beer cheese soup very soon. Hello Oktoberfest.<br />
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6. An important reminder:<br />
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I hope y'all are kicking this Monday to the moon!</div>
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P.S. Only 19 days to go!</div>
<br />Jess @ It's Jess!http://www.blogger.com/profile/02985255019884625767noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8469621936160387499.post-74391190656097110702015-09-02T08:31:00.001-05:002015-09-02T18:03:32.306-05:00Things and SuchGreetings and Howdy-Do! Long time no bullshit!<br />
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This wedding nonsense is winding down (1 month and 1 day left you guys!), and life is being less life-y... so blogging here I come!<br />
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Let's ease me back in gently with some things I found while being inundated with wedding related advertising. I can't wait for my recommendations on Etsy to not look like this anymore:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9S24h-VZwKvi7nSvBZWgxsY9ojbs0k2BD6LzT8r-VHzSvRdxYVBHW87KxPuD4pMgFGncZu0GQB_XLKFuHwUX7p0ZlOF3FbQwEQo_23JgtFwOp94EQ3-8IYOHfH26-itCBgcyhYfGNHZQJ/s1600/Capture.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="280" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9S24h-VZwKvi7nSvBZWgxsY9ojbs0k2BD6LzT8r-VHzSvRdxYVBHW87KxPuD4pMgFGncZu0GQB_XLKFuHwUX7p0ZlOF3FbQwEQo_23JgtFwOp94EQ3-8IYOHfH26-itCBgcyhYfGNHZQJ/s400/Capture.PNG" width="400" /></a></div>
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First of all let's talk about Diesel the Bulldog.<br />
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You guys this is a metaphor for so many things in my life. Mostly my relationship with food.<br />
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Speaking of food (and weird relationships with food)... someone <a href="https://www.etsy.com/listing/245212266/funny-saying-cross-stitch?ref=related-5" target="_blank">buy this</a> for me.<br />
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Have you ever purchased an article of clothing because you were excited about how much food you could comfortably eat while wearing it? I'd like to introduce you to my new Thanksgiving dinner shirt:<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEias9464Jbayptv4gV2JFOtxCX4zjfvShCfZgJdRNQs9-TSMmWmpwjP3giuCRL-ahOvmTv0pLyjExCjuLTyRhbLcEu40CuNlty2qClkv7kpnjzrFp1Dr16t1-Y5FVDe7YsOMuHL5Q-qiVCc/s1600/forever+21.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEias9464Jbayptv4gV2JFOtxCX4zjfvShCfZgJdRNQs9-TSMmWmpwjP3giuCRL-ahOvmTv0pLyjExCjuLTyRhbLcEu40CuNlty2qClkv7kpnjzrFp1Dr16t1-Y5FVDe7YsOMuHL5Q-qiVCc/s320/forever+21.jpg" width="217" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">It's basically a tablecloth with a hole cut out for my head. Thanks, Forever 21!</td></tr>
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So I really would like to make blogging a regular thing again. I miss this blog's musk so much! I promise not to change it to a cute-sy asshole newlywed blog with an asshole name like 'Miss to Missus'. Barf me to death. <br />
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Also, this is what Henry has been up to:<br />
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Talk to you soon, dumplings!<br />
<br />Jess @ It's Jess!http://www.blogger.com/profile/02985255019884625767noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8469621936160387499.post-86225783448286453902015-04-10T11:29:00.000-05:002015-04-10T11:29:13.120-05:00A Sneak Peek At Our Engagement Photos!A few weeks ago on a bright and sunny Monday afternoon in March, Wade and I met with our super rad wedding photographer Brandi with <a href="http://www.lolajo.com/" target="_blank">Lola Jo Photo Design</a> to have our engagement photos taken.<br />
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We have been so excited to collaborate with Brandi on these photos because she was our first choice for our wedding photographer, and photography was one of the first major wedding details we nailed down after getting engaged. <br />
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However, I super duper hate getting my photo taken. It's not because I hate how I look. I just feel really uncomfortable being the center of attention. <br />
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There are Portias and there are Ellens on this red carpet of life. I am an Ellen.<br />
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But our afternoon with Brandi went swimmingly and I think the results speak for themselves!<br />
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Scroll down for the big reveal!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiicMQzrch3-45E1ETcRP5kENRCuX74dLaOqaJncLCZ_kQLwGTvFqd9mvuomtWOg7ilLr9JSoCGno1hIpkJML3dyP6OD5gbWH5zADssZb2CHymOf_cGdDz3iX1AvfwFLXpzCt8pMXu1teea/s1600/captaintennille-630-80.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiicMQzrch3-45E1ETcRP5kENRCuX74dLaOqaJncLCZ_kQLwGTvFqd9mvuomtWOg7ilLr9JSoCGno1hIpkJML3dyP6OD5gbWH5zADssZb2CHymOf_cGdDz3iX1AvfwFLXpzCt8pMXu1teea/s1600/captaintennille-630-80.jpg" height="640" width="640" /></a></div>
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BOOM. Photo magic in your face.</div>
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Okay.... here are some actual engagement photos.<br />
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Needless to say, I am so pleased with the results and I can't wait for our big day to get here!<br />
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In other news, my wedding dress arrived and it fits perfectly so I can eat all of the hot dogs I want (within reason) up until my wedding day and it will be A-OK. Huzzah!Jess @ It's Jess!http://www.blogger.com/profile/02985255019884625767noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8469621936160387499.post-66860689320803241652015-03-04T12:47:00.000-06:002015-03-04T12:47:38.871-06:00I Went To a Bridal Fair and Only Had One Panic AttackWay way back in January, when the cold and snow still seemed like a quaint opportunity to indulge in coziness, I coerced my mom and Aunt Rho into accompanying me to the local bridal fair. <br /><br />I prepared. I read blog posts with tips about how to negotiate the shit storm of information and solicitation one would encounter. I put together a BINDER with TABS and POUCHES. <br /><br />I brought a pen, you guys.<br /><br />I had a super brief shopping list of vendors to check out because, lo and behold, I had actually broken my lifelong tradition of procrastinating everything to the last effing day/week/month, and found myself ahead of my planning schedule.<br /><br /><b>What I needed:</b><br /><br />- A DJ<br /><br />- A Florist<br /><br />- To sample all of the caterers even though I already had a caterer<br /><br /><br /><b>What I left with:</b><br /><br />- A string quartet for the ceremony that I never even knew I needed/wanted/could afford<br /><br />- A lot of business cards<br /><br />- A desperate and irrational need for one of these dumb but awesome shirts.<div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I KNOW. So<i> basic</i>, but GIMMEGIMMEGIMME.</td></tr>
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<br />I made it about 1/3 of the way through the vendors before I had my meltdown. It was one I had needed to have for weeks… one that for many people would have been preempted by simply asking their loved ones for help. <br /><br />Being an unintentionally dramatic sort… I decided to go with my tried and true technique of bottling things up until I explode. <br /><br />As I always say "If it ain’t broke… don’t try to resolve it without causing a scene!"<br /><br />My aunt and my mom were great. They pulled me aside, listened to my barrage of “But WHOs? But HOWs? But WHENNNs?” and calmly reassured me that all of these things would be figured out and taken care of and that I had plenty of help. I would not spend my wedding away running around the reception space setting up elaborate centerpieces and trying to paint my dog’s toenails. (Note to self: Add ‘Ask father to paint dog’s toenails’ to to-do list).<br /><br /><br />Because, you know, it is all going to get done. And it’s going to be awesome and now that things are coming together and I can anticipate what it’s going to look/be/feel like to have my friends and family surrounding me when I marry my favorite being in the entire universe… well… I seriously can’t wait, you guys!</div>
Jess @ It's Jess!http://www.blogger.com/profile/02985255019884625767noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8469621936160387499.post-14975101677803001982015-01-14T11:51:00.000-06:002015-01-14T11:51:01.152-06:00You'll Meet an Army of Me<br />
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Folks, I don’t know much about anything (except the care and upkeep of pugs and where to buy the best donuts), but I do know a whole heck of a lot about the wild and amazing world of insecurities.</div>
<br />It’s a very practical knowledge I’ve acquired over the years due to my ability to walk through this weird and wonderful world with near crippling anxiety and insecurity.<br /><br />Yes, I know it all very well.<br /><br />Most of my anxiety and insecurity (and I suspect this is the case for most people) stems from comparing myself to others. It’s a constant, negative voice in my head that tells me that not only am I not as interesting/beautiful/intelligent/special as others, but that everyone else can see that I’m lacking and is just as disappointed in me as I am.<br /><br />It’s exhausting and a super dick-ish thing to do to yourself.<br /><br />Insecurity is so insidious too. Sometimes, like today, I will start the day A-OK and then find myself swiftly sinking into a dark K-hole of meanness. It can be triggered by something or nothing. Social media seems to be the prime suspect most of the time. <br /><br />As I found myself mired in this fire swamp of self loathing today, I decided that it was time for a little vulnerability and sharing. I know most of us experience this at some point, and probably most of use experience it every week if not every day.<br /><br />If you find yourself similarly mired, here are the hand grenades I lob at my insecurities on a regular basis:<br /><br /><blockquote class="tr_bq">
- Repeat to infinity the mantra “I love myself, I love myself, I love myself…”. Brains are super dumb. If you say something as a fact over and over, even if you don’t believe that fact, eventually your brain will start to believe it, and suddenly it will be true! This one is crazy important and effective. Don’t wait for others to validate you. It’s dangerous and addictive. You have to try to believe with your whole entire body that you slow strut on rainbows.<br /> <br />- Do something nice for others. Get out of your own head and think about adding joy to someone else’s day. Inevitably it will increase your own joy.</blockquote>
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- Do something nice for yourself. Buy yourself something that makes you feel rad or eat a guilt-free donut. You’ve probably earned it.</blockquote>
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<br />- Create a note on your phone where you can keep track of every nice thing anyone has ever said about you. Refer to it liberally and believe every word of it. This one is tough sometimes because I tend to think every compliment I am paid is just done to humor me. I counteract this by channeling my best Bette Davis bravado and mentally affirming ‘Yes’ after reading each item. Again, brains are super dumb.<br /> <br />- Listen to this song. On repeat, if necessary.</blockquote>
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<br />For the most part, I am in the best place I have ever been as far as self-love and acceptance goes, but I still have my days. Those are the days I can see how much progress I have made, and the great love affair I have with myself. I can see it in the fortitude I have to warrior through and get back to A-OK or better.<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Using a machete to cut through red tape.</td></tr>
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<br />Keep slow strutting across those rainbows, pals, and I’ll keep slow strutting across my own.Jess @ It's Jess!http://www.blogger.com/profile/02985255019884625767noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8469621936160387499.post-39977840486924524132015-01-05T15:51:00.002-06:002015-01-05T15:58:30.596-06:00A Little Bit Fat and Tacky...... is the name of the memoir I'm going to write when I'm 97.<br />
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It comes from a quote from director Billy Wilder's (ex) wife Audrey about another Audrey, the waif-like star of his movie Sabrina, Audrey Hepburn.<br />
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"Through no fault of hers, (she) makes me feel fat and tacky. Also I suddenly realized I probably drink and smoke too much."<br />
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Yup. That about sums it up. <br />
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After my birthday dinner tomorrow evening (a carb fest at Bella Vita Bistro), I'm officially starting my get healthy for the wedding diet/lifestyle change/cleanse/spiritual awakening/humdinger. It's going to be so super cool, said nobody ever.<br />
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I've actually gained back about 25-30 lbs of weight over the past several months. It turns out that relationships, even healthy and happy ones, have a way of fucking around with a single lady's finely tuned Rain Man-like existence of Jeopardy and underwear from K-mart. Or in my case rarely eating bread and 2 mile walks by the river that was right outside my back stoop.<br />
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Before if I wanted to eliminate something from my diet, I just wouldn't buy it. And I rarely went out to eat because if I wanted to sit alone in public and be pitied I could accomplish that a million other ways for free.<br />
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But, seriously, you guys, I have got one of the most intense case of the lazies these days that I've ever experienced. I've also got an intense case of the pepperoni pizzas.<br />
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So I had to have a little come to Jesus with myself, the result of which was me signing up for <a href="http://www.dietbetter.com/" target="_blank">DietBet</a>, making Wade dust off his <a href="http://ddpyoga.com/" target="_blank">Diamond Dallas Page yoga</a> DVDs (it's totally a thing and I'm super excited to try it), and reminding myself that I'm a 7th level vision master ninja bad ass when it comes to this whole healthy living weight loss thing (remember that time I lost 130 lbs...HELLO!). So onward non-denominational soldiers, I've got this!<br />
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Also,<a href="http://www.canyoustayfordinner.com/2014/09/28/taking-up-space-and-acting-small/" target="_blank"> this blog</a> from Andie at Can You Stay For Dinner? about the connection between being fat and apologizing for yourself and trying to be small really kicked me in teeth heart-wise.<br />
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In other news, I'm delving deep into the batshit craziness of a bridal expo next weekend... so expect a report about that in the near future! Also engagement photos! <br />
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Ha-cha-cha!<br />
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I hope all of you are well and shining bright like diamonds for the new year!Jess @ It's Jess!http://www.blogger.com/profile/02985255019884625767noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8469621936160387499.post-87175045257901546022014-11-13T14:00:00.000-06:002014-11-13T14:00:55.310-06:00So Apparently I'm a Bride<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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And I don't 100% know what that means except that I tricked a wonderful boy into marrying my particular brand of crazy and now I get to pick out pretty colors (hello blush and bashful!) and dresses and everyone tells me 'Yes.... of course that is beautiful' and 'This is YOUR day' all of the time.<br />
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So it's pretty great and I'm pretty sure Beyonce's everyday existence is just like this.<br />
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The other part about being a bride is that you're expected to plan an actual wedding.<br />
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If you've spent any amount of time on Pinterest these days, you know that weddings are a real BEAST.<br />
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I listened to this podcast once about an organization that teaches refugees that come to America about how to function in America.... topics in class range from 'how to use a debit card' to 'how to shop for groceries'. They interviewed a number of people who had successfully transitioned to life in America about what they remembered from their first months in America. Most of them mentioned being overwhelmed by the amount of choices. One recounted a particularly traumatizing venture to the store to buy deodorant.<br />
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Have you guys ever thought about how many different kinds of deodorant there are? All of them variations on the same theme: don't have smelly pits.<br />
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So Pinterest is like that except for brides. And I didn't come to this Pinterest Bride Party completely unprepared. I have been dreaming about throwing this epic party for years. I'm coming to the table with actual opinions about color schemes and centerpieces, and I still feel overwhelmed.<br />
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But the great news is that the wonderful boy I've tricked into marrying me is also a great co-planner, and much better at pulling the trigger and making decisions than I am.<br />
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In the meantime, I thought it would be fun to document the planning process as we stumble our way through it right here on my blog. <br />
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And, who knows... if we can't reach a consensus about one of the myriads of decisions we're being asked to make over the next several months, we might just poll you and then blame you when it doesn't turn out perfectly. <br />
<br />Sounds like an ideal plan to me!Jess @ It's Jess!http://www.blogger.com/profile/02985255019884625767noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8469621936160387499.post-16278544142929292192014-05-28T10:12:00.000-05:002014-05-28T10:12:27.028-05:00Spiritual Pizza Party<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcYbgaL2nPQVA2hy3PBvHKqq5gsujrHR6sfppRALPTnQr1w1PgpnkxGd85qD2Yx8QS8KFhnrxtL7XNqAJKLtzcmDZ6sgdCk_XvYNb6ip3fmsbrrg2JGgiPiotfaZirxY-2J-QLPYfMezb7/s1600/pizza-eating.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcYbgaL2nPQVA2hy3PBvHKqq5gsujrHR6sfppRALPTnQr1w1PgpnkxGd85qD2Yx8QS8KFhnrxtL7XNqAJKLtzcmDZ6sgdCk_XvYNb6ip3fmsbrrg2JGgiPiotfaZirxY-2J-QLPYfMezb7/s1600/pizza-eating.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Riotous pizza joy!</td></tr>
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I’m not good at celebrating myself. I bet you aren’t either.<br />
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But I also bet you’re super fantastic at berating yourself for your tiniest failure. I sure as shit am!<br />
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You wanted to work out 3 times this week, but you only did it once? What an ASSHOLE.<br />
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You weren’t going to eat any cake at the birthday party, but you did anyways? WOW… you’re a real DICK STICK.<br />
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You decided to watch The Bachelorette instead of reading War and Peace? You illiterate SON OF A BITCH.<br />
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Why are we such nit-picky assholes to ourselves? Why is it so much easier to dwell on the things we haven’t accomplished than to celebrate the things that we have?<br />
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I’ve done a really bad job of celebrating something that I totally deserve to celebrate.<br />
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Three years ago, around this time of the year, I decided it was time to be healthier.<br />
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I have lost 130 lbs. <br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Killing it at Lady Gaga karaoke and killing it in general.</td></tr>
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It was so hard and frustrating and I thought I would never get to where I am today.<br />
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<b>I am so damn proud of myself.</b><br />
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I’ve accomplished something so crazy huge, and I actually find myself hiding it… I delete old photos of myself and untag myself in photos on Facebook. It’s really hard for me to even casually mention it in conversations without adding some qualifying bit of information to make sure people know that it’s <i>not that big of a deal</i>.<br />
<br />
I recently found myself getting jealous of someone on Facebook because they were featured on a weight loss page for losing a similar amount of weight. And I had to stop and remind myself that the only difference between the two of us is that she acknowledges and celebrates herself. SHE BRAGS. It’s AWESOME.<br />
<br />
I think we have a real problem in our culture with people acknowledging how awesome they are. We tell them that they are arrogant. We tell them that they are not a special snowflake.<br />
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It’s weird.<br />
<br />
When we stop acknowledging our own special snowflake-ness, it makes us really bitter about other peoples’ special snowflake-ness.<br />
<br />
You are a SNOWFLAKE. You are a SKYSCRAPER. You are BEYONCE.<br />
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And I think it’s okay to acknowledge that and throw ourselves a very special snowflake party every once in awhile.<br />
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So this is me bragging, and reminding everyone that I am Kanye West levels of awesome.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTYxw-ucMOMdMVnPjnsuni_SqTk3HxloMt48FKW6nmGkbvokS97aNaW8b6K4FjknDrK5Ur1vWoWRnFlxb1fWPIAWv8P02o8saFnnJaB4rJGO_kDDd9RCfAHIFmxJOdl-5WaOrANV4P8XmL/s1600/kanye.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTYxw-ucMOMdMVnPjnsuni_SqTk3HxloMt48FKW6nmGkbvokS97aNaW8b6K4FjknDrK5Ur1vWoWRnFlxb1fWPIAWv8P02o8saFnnJaB4rJGO_kDDd9RCfAHIFmxJOdl-5WaOrANV4P8XmL/s1600/kanye.jpg" height="171" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Love yourself, you guys!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Today I challenge you to celebrate yourself for something cool you've done. Maybe folding a fitted sheet perfectly or eating 5 cupcakes in one sitting! It all counts!<br />
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Jess @ It's Jess!http://www.blogger.com/profile/02985255019884625767noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8469621936160387499.post-14489930869086832352014-03-20T08:17:00.000-05:002014-03-20T08:17:24.172-05:00Riotous Springtime TinglesHere look at these things while I try to find time in the chaos of my current lifescope to formulate thoughts and organize those thoughts into a blog entry... jesus h christ.<br />
<br />
<i>This sculpture:</i><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj34qY_tRBxB27df6A_S0V9bkPU6vwhPgiMK9irfiGaq7k-EYtwJNbYlV_6RJplAtDBqO7pmFeXQJKlYBOAmvFMp7h-J4pSKytTXqNXuHSpcZ_YF5fg6duHatKDkFGPl_J3-B1rXgDXidMt/s1600/spring.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj34qY_tRBxB27df6A_S0V9bkPU6vwhPgiMK9irfiGaq7k-EYtwJNbYlV_6RJplAtDBqO7pmFeXQJKlYBOAmvFMp7h-J4pSKytTXqNXuHSpcZ_YF5fg6duHatKDkFGPl_J3-B1rXgDXidMt/s1600/spring.jpg" height="320" width="213" /></a></div>
<br />
<i>This quote that I can't find accredited to anyone inspite of my exhaustive research on the internet machine (I searched on google once):</i><br />
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"And kid, you’ve got to love yourself. You’ve got wake up at four in the morning, brew black coffee, and stare at the birds drowning in the darkness of the dawn. You’ve got to sit next to the man at the train station who’s reading your favorite book and start a conversation. You’ve got to come home after a bad day and burn your skin from a shower. Then you’ve got to wash all your sheets until they smell of lemon detergent you bought for four dollars at the local grocery store. You’ve got to stop taking everything so goddam personally. You are not the moon kissing the black sky. You’ve got to compliment someones crooked brows at an art fair and tell them that their eyes remind you of green swimming pools in mid July. You’ve got to stop letting yourself get upset about things that won’t matter in two years. Sleep in on Saturday mornings and wake yourself up early on Sunday. You’ve got to stop worrying about what you’re going to tell her when she finds out. You’ve got to stop over thinking why he stopped caring about you over six months ago. You’ve got to stop asking everyone for their opinions. Fuck it. Love yourself, kiddo. You’ve got to love yourself."</blockquote>
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<i>Tina on Bob's Burgers is my heart's twin:</i><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2h8jiinD6MMGN_20SUatVHGnMX6HDGSckI-vDpq8Nag-KQao5F28v8gDv375fSx7_2dvhTEXGebVAb9hPbsESp4eH3k-6LZztoYb6LVJ5KA_iXWMty5pqSPX3Ke05CqFCPUmnXFqYIwri/s1600/tina.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2h8jiinD6MMGN_20SUatVHGnMX6HDGSckI-vDpq8Nag-KQao5F28v8gDv375fSx7_2dvhTEXGebVAb9hPbsESp4eH3k-6LZztoYb6LVJ5KA_iXWMty5pqSPX3Ke05CqFCPUmnXFqYIwri/s1600/tina.png" height="180" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<i>And this sentiment</i>:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiM_MQdKP6VXmA0B4p7wTdPVVR27kjbnmcLW919N2v5krozd89-7UVd-MFz4x9rN-cL28I5-P4PT0xuwMTUWg15SCR9z9b7E1dAx3vYTitqash7yRUWuItaG93vhezvp3w1VnvsTzeo8lll/s1600/spring+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiM_MQdKP6VXmA0B4p7wTdPVVR27kjbnmcLW919N2v5krozd89-7UVd-MFz4x9rN-cL28I5-P4PT0xuwMTUWg15SCR9z9b7E1dAx3vYTitqash7yRUWuItaG93vhezvp3w1VnvsTzeo8lll/s1600/spring+2.jpg" /></a></div>
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Also my shit-tastic diet is over and now that I can eat all of the cheese and candy that I want to I'm kind of okay with not eating it. It's like I've joined some kind of cult.Jess @ It's Jess!http://www.blogger.com/profile/02985255019884625767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8469621936160387499.post-24007946414345695242014-03-04T09:28:00.000-06:002014-03-04T09:28:30.921-06:00How I Gave Up Joy (and Cheddar) and Started Hating Life: An Essay on the Whole 30 Plan<br />
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Hello, you beautiful strawberry muffin-like human beings! </div>
<br />Here is something I know nothing about: bitcoins. <br /><br />And here is something I know plenty about: dieting. <br /><br />I’m officially in the midst of week 3 of this crazy mishegoss, and I’m feeling a little bit more steady and little bit more like a champion. <br /><br />But last week was R-U-F-F. <br /><br />Actually the first two weeks were an experience like what I imagine it would be like going to an S&M dominatrix and paying her to beat the hell out of you and then realizing 10 minutes in that you are not a masochist or submissive in any way but also realizing that you’ve forgotten to establish a safe word and also you can’t speak anyways because of the ball gag plus you’ve paid for this so now you’ve just got to endure it because god forbid anyone ever call you a quitter. <br /><br />Yeah… kind of like that. <br /><br />Thus far I have endured dinners at Red Lobster (I ate plain cod and broccoli while everyone else lobster-fested) and Old Chicago (I sullenly ate nothing), a cocktail party during which I could consume neither cocktails nor the accompanying appetizers, a pub crawl during which I could not consume beer or the accompanying greasy appetizers and sandwiches (and also had a fit of lightheadedness), and made a birthday cake that I also did not get to partake of. IT HAS BEEN DEE-FUCKING-LIGHTFUL. <br /><br />At this point I’m pretty sure I’ve started several hundred pregnancy rumors or people think I have some sort of eating disorder. <br /><br />But keep in mind, that I have chosen all of this. This is all my doing. I have no one to blame but myself. <br /><br />And all of this is to build up to this: I HAVE THE GREATEST BOYFRIEND ON THE FACE OF PLANET EARTH AND MARS AND VENUS AND PROBABLY URANUS TOO. His face should be emblazoned on a million trillion gold medallions for all eternity. <br /><br />Last weekend when I was just completely downtrodden and hungry and miserable, he spent the entire weekend making me things. He bought this great cookbook that I can’t recommend enough called <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1449450334/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1449450334&linkCode=as2&tag=f05f-20" target="_blank">Nom Nom Paleo</a> (and the corresponding<a href="http://nomnompaleo.com/" target="_blank"> food blog</a> too!) and performed all sorts of kitchen wizardry to stock me up with Devils on Horseback (made with prunes, prosciutto and faux ricotta), prosciutto crisps (deloish), the craziest most delicious kalua pork you will ever eat, cauliflower “rice”, and strawberry banana ice cream. <br /><br />I’m feeling much more even-keeled now and, dare I say, like some kind of 5th level diamond star paleo vision master from the darkest side of the moons of Saturn. Or like this tiger:<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMhapWqAlBziW_1gqo5MS1xmR9V-2Q_cBGBoavylpbKYK2ejLjzz-lO5kiWWVDhI4m7QsPYeuy2hlkiufDYp84bTZXVTg6lf0kG1PcL7NLTOmDjPI7ydJUMICjuyM5tTnP8jR4N2j51ZyS/s1600/bc03aa9c4d5985e4878ad1c1d8e6.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMhapWqAlBziW_1gqo5MS1xmR9V-2Q_cBGBoavylpbKYK2ejLjzz-lO5kiWWVDhI4m7QsPYeuy2hlkiufDYp84bTZXVTg6lf0kG1PcL7NLTOmDjPI7ydJUMICjuyM5tTnP8jR4N2j51ZyS/s1600/bc03aa9c4d5985e4878ad1c1d8e6.jpeg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Focus. Determination. Meat.</td></tr>
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<br /><i>Important side note: The tigers at our local zoo apparently love the smell of Lady Stetson so the zookeepers periodically douse areas of their enclosure with it for the tigers’ entertainment. </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Life Tip: Never douse yourself in Lady Stetson for any reason, but especially for tiger reasons.</i><br />
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Anyways... I'm feeling pretty confident now about my ability to finish up this horseshit strong, but I also already have my elaborate post-Whole 30 celebration meal planned which is a tedious progressive 4 course meal across the sprawling metropolis of Wichita, Kansas with a miniature golf interlude.<br />
<br />
It's going to be the Super Bowl of cheat meals. <br />
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Cheese you later, Cool Kids!<br />
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<br />Jess @ It's Jess!http://www.blogger.com/profile/02985255019884625767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8469621936160387499.post-34190035980497678382014-02-27T12:31:00.000-06:002014-02-27T12:31:10.819-06:00Does Heaven Smell Like Pizza?Let’s get deep… and then get really shallow<br /><br /> Life is weird.<br /><br /> That’s the most important thing I can think of to say to anyone reading this after my nearly 6 months of radio silence.<br /><br /> And because life is weird, the roads you find yourself rambling down are sometimes unexpected and beautiful and terrifyingly cool.<br /><br /> I’ve been really scared a lot lately, which is a weird thing to experience when you’re also really incredibly happy. It’s like a brain can’t just allow happiness to exist by itself. It has to send some other companion feeling to make it more interesting and bizarre. So my brain sent fear. And my theory is that it sent fear because the happiness is so good and because I finally for once in my life have something very real to lose.<br /><div>
<br /> That is fucking scary as shit. Who voluntarily signs up for this level of vulnerability? Apparently we all do. <i>What is the matter with us?!</i><br /><br /><br /> I will also say that love is weird. It takes you down the scariest and weirdest and still even more terrifyingly cool paths. And I think maybe it is because it’s so unexpected BUT at the same time it’s the thing you spend so much of your life looking for that makes it SO WEIRD. It feels like an out of body experience sometimes. Like you’re hovering above your body sitting next to the body of someone else thinking “Okay so this is what it’s like to cherish someone else’s existence and be cherished for your own existence. That’s kind of cool.” And the warmth and happiness you feel is like curling up in a giant velvet bean bag chair and covering yourself in cocker spaniel puppies.</div>
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John Steinbeck explains it a little bit better in <a href="http://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2012/01/john-steinbeck-on-falling-in-love-a-1958-letter/251375/" target="_blank">a letter to his son in 1958</a>:</div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
There are several kinds of love. One is a selfish, mean, grasping, egotistical thing which uses love for self-importance. This is the ugly and crippling kind. The other is an outpouring of everything good in you -- of kindness and consideration and respect -- not only the social respect of manners but the greater respect which is recognition of another person as unique and valuable. The first kind can make you sick and small and weak but the second can release in you strength, and courage and goodness and even wisdom you didn't know you had. </blockquote>
<br /> It’s pretty rad. <br /><br /> <br /><br />And now on to something completely ridiculous… <b>MY TERRIBLE DIET</b>.<br /><br /><br /> I decided to give this <a href="http://whole30.com/whole30-program-rules/" target="_blank">Whole 30</a> nonsense a try. Basically you give up everything delicious for a month and it’s supposed to make you feel like a million trillion solid gold medallions. <br /><br /> It’s the worst. I’m on Day Something or Other (probably 11, but I don’t have the energy to look at a calendar… probably because I haven’t eaten cheese for days) and my body is legit falling apart. In the first week I caught a cold (my 17th of the season), got my period 2 weeks early, and started obsessively thinking about cake and tacos and pizza (my GAWD the things I do to pizza in my brain). I also whine a lot (more than usual). <br /><br />I’m swiftly wearing out my ‘Complain About Your Diet’ pass with people in my real life, so expect to catch some more of that here! Huzzah for you!!</div>
Jess @ It's Jess!http://www.blogger.com/profile/02985255019884625767noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8469621936160387499.post-51667764219102412552013-10-24T07:45:00.000-05:002013-10-24T07:45:03.353-05:00Emerging from the Pumpkin Spice and Wood Smoke MiasmaHI GUYS! I still exist!<br />
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I was in kind of a lull for a bit... not a lot going on. <br />
<br />
Except that my brave and talented friend Kari at The Sunset Lane blog helped me merchandise my place up a bit by making me a new light fixture to hang over my dining room table (you should go read about that <a href="http://thesunsetlane.blogspot.com/2013/10/old-light-made-new-with-neon-pink-duct.html" target="_blank">here</a>). And then further pimping my ride by putting gold polka dots all over my ceiling!!! And I finally got my bar cart shellacked with gold spray paint and installed in my living room.<br />
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I did some socializing too! I went to my first Tallgrass Film Festival last week. My favorite movie didn't win any awards, but you should go watch it on iTunes because it is amazing. It's called <a href="http://www.magpictures.com/muscleshoals/" target="_blank">Muscle Shoals</a>.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvnEaEQlZn7qUDmkmhspY-wVymRb98KeVUFYm9pQGsK9XfHlahzRR2HeCsuo0oJkq_nYG6sSOyXv1gh58bOR_h3Ps6NpMM_Qm9psXtN-62na6LRCt9KgEIaRWuZu3joIABJ9_GgyjJYCM5/s1600/muscle-shoals-image-660x371%5B1%5D.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="223" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvnEaEQlZn7qUDmkmhspY-wVymRb98KeVUFYm9pQGsK9XfHlahzRR2HeCsuo0oJkq_nYG6sSOyXv1gh58bOR_h3Ps6NpMM_Qm9psXtN-62na6LRCt9KgEIaRWuZu3joIABJ9_GgyjJYCM5/s400/muscle-shoals-image-660x371%5B1%5D.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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Seriously. Go. Watch it. So good.<br />
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Anyways... here is a very well executed, award winning, MS Paint collage representation of my past month. Hope everyone is well!<br />
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<br />Jess @ It's Jess!http://www.blogger.com/profile/02985255019884625767noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8469621936160387499.post-62650074099646396532013-09-17T10:59:00.000-05:002013-09-17T10:59:19.909-05:00WhoaI just realized I haven't written a blog since August. <br />
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Here are my super solid excuses:<br />
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1. September is the lamest month ever.<br />
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2. I am the lamest person ever.<br />
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3. I've been watching a lot of re-runs of Wings.<br />
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The thing is that I feel like I haven't done anything worthy of a blog, but I actually have done some stuff.<br />
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On the home decorating front, I made these cool glitter frames for my Golden Girls portraits:<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHEkkdauR5EiFIoJLPKUKd6dBj7xX0oC7PXpQYfkThOYNpnGb9L6SJkQqmBijnjqW2hc6Ez5guwDsXSvCAHSsA7o7nmWw4S3LfPWEYKJw3c4puCJ3xZrhOglg63uGE36WdzLlRRyqHHd_7/s1600/photo+(17).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHEkkdauR5EiFIoJLPKUKd6dBj7xX0oC7PXpQYfkThOYNpnGb9L6SJkQqmBijnjqW2hc6Ez5guwDsXSvCAHSsA7o7nmWw4S3LfPWEYKJw3c4puCJ3xZrhOglg63uGE36WdzLlRRyqHHd_7/s320/photo+(17).JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Still haven't hung them yet. Give me another 6 months.</td></tr>
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And I bought these hella rad acrylic folding chairs from my friend Kari who got a hella rad deal on them on Craigslist:<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_nYHNV-40HIJYUtlQCvnRQH0NSiHC7PMtDAuq6PRf8mBhwQ7q13nBdPtroUIC2tlR4VG4ocuChR3DoE0fsLsO8pEs4y45iAK3KIgepq2r0SKpOdxKMDl0ggTyzBtGgdQSVwwvpjz4D19k/s1600/photo+(21).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_nYHNV-40HIJYUtlQCvnRQH0NSiHC7PMtDAuq6PRf8mBhwQ7q13nBdPtroUIC2tlR4VG4ocuChR3DoE0fsLsO8pEs4y45iAK3KIgepq2r0SKpOdxKMDl0ggTyzBtGgdQSVwwvpjz4D19k/s320/photo+(21).JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Just imagine how cool they will look<br />when I've covered the beige carpet with<br />a bold rug, and centered an even bolder<br />light fixture above the table. Hella fucking rad.</td></tr>
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Okay... I'm done saying 'hella' now like a doucheketeer asshole.<br />
<br />
I went to the Kansas State Fair. Twice.<br />
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And ate about 12,000 calories on each visit.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Always say yes to a gyro made in a truck.</td></tr>
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And rode a ferris wheel.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7WUrDdiqFzwl21Qe4N3VrET_JgyrZA5zfLNcOdLkh52wGnWVdj-y4MFOOCgsyVEQeT1I-Td72xwyMfFQVfGezBt3RAdRwIVo9juczQhJZRk0IDxWT3G2vSFL-JMLIKvmKBrN2xoQ2Kj8N/s1600/photo+(19).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7WUrDdiqFzwl21Qe4N3VrET_JgyrZA5zfLNcOdLkh52wGnWVdj-y4MFOOCgsyVEQeT1I-Td72xwyMfFQVfGezBt3RAdRwIVo9juczQhJZRk0IDxWT3G2vSFL-JMLIKvmKBrN2xoQ2Kj8N/s320/photo+(19).JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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And fell in love with this chicken's sweet style.<br />
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Other than that I've just been be-bopping around (not she-bopping around... gross) and trying not to eat too many mug brownies. There has been some dating too. <br />
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So all in all a not so shabby month in progress for Jess! Let's keep trucking into the big show... AUTUMN!!!Jess @ It's Jess!http://www.blogger.com/profile/02985255019884625767noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8469621936160387499.post-50286827206541242222013-08-28T10:01:00.001-05:002013-08-28T12:12:33.841-05:00Let's Talk About Something Fun TodayWhat are we going to talk about?<br />
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I have no fucking idea, but it won't be about Miley Cyrus.<br />
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1. We get free hot dogs at work today because we've all been so fabulous (I'm assuming that is why).<br />
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And tomorrow my office-mate and I organized a food day in our tiny office. Mostly because we wanted an excuse to eat all day without getting up from our desk to go and get food. So that's going to be awesome.<br />
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I'm bringing <a href="http://allrecipes.com/recipe/cheddar-ranch-dip/detail.aspx" target="_blank">Baked Potato Dip</a> (kinda like this recipe except I add green onions... for health) and <a href="http://www.thecountrycook.net/2012/03/cinnamon-roll-cake.html" target="_blank">Cinnamon Roll Cake</a> (also for health). Yep... I am making two things because I am Beyonce levels of awesome and Dom Deluise levels of in love with food.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_YxLcC2X_toyjfChEZVRAzXH19gmygaGysXDbnxfMoQqiZD4f-IREh2BCck8eqOl7V44_lHQhLf-pzz2hgERx-SHuAa4xqGAjPPnJBA4HP6K1GuEY4HxFsbSEtwN4J9TAp3k1IK5X2syo/s1600/domdel.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_YxLcC2X_toyjfChEZVRAzXH19gmygaGysXDbnxfMoQqiZD4f-IREh2BCck8eqOl7V44_lHQhLf-pzz2hgERx-SHuAa4xqGAjPPnJBA4HP6K1GuEY4HxFsbSEtwN4J9TAp3k1IK5X2syo/s320/domdel.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Just photoshop my face onto this and use it as my tombstone.</td></tr>
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And then Friday even more free hot dogs for lunch at work!<br />
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Apparently the week before Labor Day is a time for pre-fortifying yourself with nitrates (and mayonnaise) so you can eat more nitrates on the big day! HUZZAH!<br />
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2. On Sunday my friend Kari from <a href="http://thesunsetlane.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">The Sunset Lane</a> came over to help my un-motivated, decorating impaired self work on some strategery for making my apartment not look like a sterile dorm room.<br />
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We hung newspaper templates on the walls to figure out where to hang all of my art and photos, but, you guys, I'm getting kind of attached to the newspaper. It might stay indefinitely.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbl-Urdn2LWDWf1UxypBzTAO7-QJopwDRwW6FsyeS5gyThMCneYTEiFDYEju5uM2bZNsBTZ6_lE4mTENnzPhrserL7sfMz5_PCb0q1b0DjkXZbvPhFcTRrnaJOdCjyEwzWpKpT7ycMzZYH/s1600/photo+(11).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbl-Urdn2LWDWf1UxypBzTAO7-QJopwDRwW6FsyeS5gyThMCneYTEiFDYEju5uM2bZNsBTZ6_lE4mTENnzPhrserL7sfMz5_PCb0q1b0DjkXZbvPhFcTRrnaJOdCjyEwzWpKpT7ycMzZYH/s320/photo+(11).JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Henry helped.</td></tr>
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She also brought me this:<br />
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Henry doesn't even remember posing to have his portrait painted, but he obviously did because the likeness is uncanny!<br />
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We also ate pizza and brownies and bitched about dudes... basically a perfect Sunday afternoon!<br />
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3. I really like this song a lot:<br />
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Royals by Lorde<br />
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4. This Dana Barrett in Ghostbusters makeup tutorial is awesome... I just need someone to go with me to a Halloween party as The Keymaster.<br />
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And that's about as much fun as I can handle today! Get back to work, nerds!Jess @ It's Jess!http://www.blogger.com/profile/02985255019884625767noreply@blogger.com0