To All My Neighbors, You Got Much Flavor

Feeling a little down today for various intangible reasons.  I think I need to dance it out with a little impromptu internet dance party.

Join me, won't you?

CRANK IT, MONTELL!

Okay.  I feel a little better now.  How are you guys doing?

This Ain't My First Time At The Rodeo

It's International Women's Day, and I've been thinking about what it means to me to be a woman in our current society.

And then I saw this, and it summed it up better than anything I've ever seen:

Don't get me wrong... Ol' Joan was batshit crazy, but she had a pair of big brass ones.  And we all need those sometimes.

We Need To Get Out of Here

Ever just go through a patch when it seems like you just absolutely cannot stop spending money?

When your list of things you want to buy just seems endless?

I'm sure it has less to do with wanting things and more to do with trying to fill the gaping hole in soul.  My soul hole (*juvenile snickering).

Or it's just that I like shiny new things and lots of them.

Even my notoriously thrifty father does this, so I know I'm fairly normal.

One time we went to Sears to have his tires rotated, and by the time we left 2 hours later he had purchased binoculars, a painting, and a sack of jelly beans.

He looked at me and said, "We need to get out of here... I'm obviously in the mood to buy shit."

This week on the internet I have purchased the following:

- Prescription glasses

I'm so excited about these, you guys!

- Various books and dvds

If you've never seen this, what the eff is wrong with you?

- Shampoo 

Wen is going to change my life, you guys.
I watched an infomercial for like 30 minutes and I'm 100% positive of this.

And that seems pretty tame when you take into consideration all of the things I've almost bought on the internet this week:

- Makeup... a lot of it.

- Nail polish... a lot of it.

- Jewelry... a lot of it.

- Clothing... a lot of it.

- Watch... an expensive one.

- More books and dvds

So I think it's safe to say that we need to get me off of the internet machine until I figure out what my soul hole really needs.  Probably butter and sugar... a lot of it.

Have a great weekend, kids!

- 

You're Cordially Invited To Valentine's Day Brunch!

Come in, come in! Come in and shut the door!

It's so wonderful you could make it all the way to Merry Old England just for my little get-together.  

The place looks familiar, you say?  Yes, apparently while we've been away they've been filming some television show here.

Can I asked you something?

Valentino.

Bracelet.

Do you think I'm overdressed for brunch?

Nevermind.  It's like as I said it I heard how ridiculous the question was.

I bet you know what's coming next, though.

Champagne pyramid!  Splash in a little orange juice or peach nectar and it's totally socially acceptable to drink in the morning!

So... I'm guessing you're picking up that i'm a little down this morning, right?

Well, it's not that I'm ungrateful or anything, but it's just that my husband... you've met him right?

He's been hinting for weeks about this "rock" he was getting me for Valentine's Day... and here I was laying around dreaming about rocks... diamonds, emeralds, rubies.  Those kinds of "rocks", and apparently he meant this:

It's some island off the coast of Iceland he bought from Bjork.

Don't get me wrong... it's certainly unique, but you can't exactly wear it around your finger.

Listen to me complain! An island!  Talk about first world problems.

Mingle, eat, enjoy yourselves! And there might even be a surprise for you on your way out... hint hint.

Have fun and don't do anything I wouldn't do!

What I've Been... (Vacation Edition)

I am writing this from the past (a week ago). I do not have psychic abilities, but I feel fairly confident that this is what I will be up to today.

Reading...

In fact, I am positive about this because I've already purchased a stack.  When I buy $30 worth of magazines you know I mean business.

But also this...

Listening to...

Kokomo by The Beach Boys

Fernando by ABBA

Drinking...

Or...

And Watching...

And as long as my ship hasn't capsized, I think it's safe to say I'm having a great time.

It's A Festivus Miracle!

That's me winning ONE HUNDRED MOTHER EFFING DOLLARS on a scratch ticket a co-worker gave me in a Christmas card today!!!

HOLLA! Festivus miracle for sure.