What I Actually Wore

I decided it would be fun(?) to do a 'What I Actually Wore' set to contrast with my super expensive fantasy 'What I Wish I Wore' sets.  It turned out to be an exercise in futility because Polyvore doesn't keep sweaters that Target sold 5 to 6 years ago in its database or a selection of cheap knock-off made in China jewelry either. I managed a rough approximation of what I am actually wearing as I sit here typing these words that you are reading.

I don't own a Balenciaga bag.  I don't own a knock-off Balenciaga bag, but I felt that this bag most accurately represented the slouch of my canvas messenger bag which I bought off of Etsy.

Neither do I own a Tory Burch wrap bracelet or a David Yurman pave diamond bracelet.  What I do own are two $4 bracelets I bought from Sam Moon that look kinda sorta like these.

Also, my Target wedges don't have that much platform because I'm already 5'8" and I don't need to walk around like Frankenstein towering over everyone and frightening children.

I do, however, own these exact trousers from Old Navy and a white Fossil watch.

So now you know.

Oh and here is a rough approximation of all the shit I put on my face this morning to achieve a "natural" look.

I'm about as natural as Kim Kardashian.  It takes a lot of work to look this average, you guys.

A Drawing I Did Instead of My Work

I have to half-ass it on the blogging front today because returning from vacation sends you into a black hole of never-ending piles of work compounded by a never-ending lack of motivation.

The lack of motivation thing is what is KILLING me right now.  Need some proof?

Weeell... let's just say that this is the most impressive thing I accomplished at work yesterday:

That's Aleksandar making toast for Kristine while thinking about her.  Look at his rosy little cheeks!

(Note: the Grand Cayman thing is a long, tragic story that might just break your heart to little pieces.  Basically, one day Aleksandar tried to disembark in Grand Cayman for the day, but he was #21 out of 20 crew members allowed to disembark so he couldn't go.  He seriously looked like Charlie Brown when he told us this story... it basically killed us.)

So this is all the blog I am capable of today.  I'll take to y'all kids later.

First Five!!!

I gave the title of this post three exclamation points to make it seem more exciting than it actually is.  See... what happens is I post the first five songs that came up on my iPod this morning without any commentary or explanation.  The potential for embarrassment is muy high (someday that Pussycat Dolls song is going to pop up and it's going to be pretty painful to not just skip past it).

Here goes nothing.

1. Justin Timberlake - Sexy Ladies

2. Laid Back - White Horse

3. Foo Fighters - The One

4. Phantom Planet - California

5. Amy Winehouse - Rehab

You know, this First Five could either be the first five songs that randomly came up on my iPod, or it could be the soundtrack from a very special episode of The Hills.

It's anyone's guess, really.

I Have Nothing

Super busy today... it's the last push before this place shuts down for Christmas break (huzzah!). So I think that is the cause of my blogger's block this morning.

That and I'm still trying to process the American Horror Story season finale from last night.

Also I think listening to Karen Carpenter sing Christmas songs has put me into a dulcet, melodious coma this morning. It's the Christmas music equivalent of Xanax.

So I guess in the meantime you could watch these guys auditioning for a kung fu movie.  Over and over and over again.

I did at least 11 times.

Or you could read everything on The Oatmeal.  Starting with The Bobcats!

Or you could read any of the blogs listed on my sidebar... they're all good quality and good people!

Or you could just go take a nap.

Read This!

Holy Shit... heart palpitations... so busy... read this... we'll chat later.

The 50s Housewife Project at Jen But Never Jenn.

P.S. My blog could be called 'Jess But Never Jessie'

Office Space!

I decided to dick around with the Retro Camera app on my phone, and now you have to look at these pictures.

This photo shows how well my miniature Diet Coke can features my shiny Russian Roulette nails.

This photo shows me doing one of my favorite things: shoving paperclips into the paperclip hole while listening to Pulp on my iPod.

Also this photo was taken at 10:00 pm on a Saturday night. That's the kind of balls out, reckless lifestyle I live.  No regrets, y'all.

And this is a photo of my office boyfriend Aidan posing proudly with his pals Lipgloss, Hand Sanitizer, Lotion and Fortune Cookie Fortune.