And Another Thing...

Why isn't this song on the radio all of the time?   20 years old and this song still kills it!

Holy hell I miss 90s rap videos... they just don't make 'em like they used to.

Things and Such... Also An Imaginary Boyfriend Thrown In

1. Stars - Hold On When You Get Love and Let Go When You Give It

A lyric from this song (my current running jam), has become my 2013 life motto:

 Take the weakest thing in you / and then beat the bastards with it.

2. This jackalope jewelry holder... which I desperately need because of very important non-negotiable reasons.

3. Speaking of jackalopes and life mottos... this should be required reading (p.s. it has nothing to do with jackalopes).  But only if you're in the mood to have your heart ripped out, re-shaped by powerful, knowing hands, and then gently placed back into your chest cavity... and who isn't?!

Also, I think I'm the very last person on the planet (possibly the solar system) to read this... forever the last person on every band wagon.  As I was reading I kept thinking 'why didn't anyone tell me to read this sooner?!' and then I remembered that they did... lots of people... and several times.  I'm an asshole.

4. Richard Ayoade

Richard meets all of my imaginary boyfriend requirements:

a) English

b) Funny

c) Adorable

d) Incredibly talented

e) Looks great in a suit

New Year's(ish) Resolutions

I'm not a big believer in the Tao of the New Year's Resolution.  Resolutions in and of themselves are not a terrible thing, and I sincerely believe that trying  to be the best version of ourselves is always a good idea.  I just think that can happen any time of the year... make a May 17th or Oct 21st resolution... because there is nothing magical about setting a goal on a specific day of the year.

But I can certainly understand why the beginning of a new year can feel like a clean slate and a good time to start making some positive changes.  And, in that spirit, I have decided to participate.

This is what I have come up with:

1. Make art.  
As much as I can. Every day if I can manage it. I need to do this because it makes me happy.  Because every time I write a story or take a photo I really like, I feel like I could slow strut across a rainbow.  It gives me purpose.

2. Drink more water.
Apparently I should be drinking half of my weight in ounces of water everyday.  There are days when I drink nothing but coffee.  That is atrocious and disgusting.  I'm going to work on this.

3. Cocoon.
Sometimes the best decision you can make is to focus on taking care of yourself first and having faith that the rest will take care of itself in its own good time.  This one is about having patience... something I struggle with constantly. I also need to do some intense hyperballading.

4. Do things that terrify me.
A thing I've learned in the past year is that the more something makes me nervous and uncomfortable, the more I absolutely need to do it.  So I need to keep making myself terrified.

And that's it.  I think it's going to be a good year.

Tingles...

I'm a sap for a good poem. Here are a few that have given me that good ol' feelings ghost chill lately.



Perhaps It Is To Feel Strike

perhaps it is to feel strike

the silverfish of her nakedness

with fins sharply pleasant, my

youth has travelled toward her these years

or to snare the timid like

of her mind to my mind that i

am come by little countries to the yes

of her youth.

                     And if somebody hears

what i say -- let him be pitiful:

because i've travelled all alone

through the forest of wonderful,

and that my feet have surely known

the furious ways and the peaceful,

and because she is beautiful

- e.e. cummings

Becoming a Nun

On cold days
it is easy to be reasonable,
to button the mouth against kisses,
dust the breasts
with talcum powder
& forget
the red pulp meat
of the heart.

On those days
it beats
like a digital clock—
not a beat at all
but a steady whirring
chilly as green neon,
luminous as numerals in the dark,
cool as electricity.

& I think:
I can live without it all—
love with its blood pump,
sex with its messy hungers,
men with their peacock strutting,
their silly sexual baggage,
their wet tongues in my ear
& their words like little sugar suckers
with sour centers.

On such days
I am zipped in my body suit,
I am wearing seven league red suede boots,
I am marching over the cobblestones
as if they were the heads of men,

& I am happy
as a seven-year-old virgin
holding Daddy’s hand.

Don’t touch.
Don’t try to tempt me with your ripe persimmons.
Don’t threaten me with your volcano.
The sky is clearer when I’m not in heat,
& the poems
are colder.

- Erica Jong

O Me! O Life!

O Me! O life!... of the questions of these recurring;
Of the endless trains of the faithless—of cities fill’d with the foolish;
Of myself forever reproaching myself, (for who more foolish than I, and who more faithless?)
Of eyes that vainly crave the light—of the objects mean—of the struggle ever renew’d;
Of the poor results of all—of the plodding and sordid crowds I see around me;
Of the empty and useless years of the rest—with the rest me intertwined;
The question, O me! so sad, recurring—What good amid these, O me, O life?
Answer.
That you are here—that life exists, and identity;
That the powerful play goes on, and you will contribute a verse.

- Walt Whitman

A Winter Solstice Miracle!

Okay... it's not quite the same as last year's Festivus Miracle, but it's better than a kick in the ass.

2 whole dollars just for me, kids!!

What I've Been...

Raging over:

- losing and gaining the same 3 lbs for the past two months. I don't even want to talk about it.

- the sign in the window of my co-workers car that says 'Mother-To-Be On Board' as though she were some kind of precious snowflake we should coddle and protect just because she had unprotected sex.

- the fact that a photographer shoved his camera up in Anne Hathaway's business and she was asked to explain on television why she chose not to wear underwear.

- babies that should be with their families, but aren't because... well I don't think we even know why, but they aren't and I can't say anything that hasn't already been said by much more eloquent and intelligent people but I think Michael Moore makes an excellent point.

I hope you don’t mind, but I’d like to just say a few words about what happened today, because I’ve been concerned about this issue for a long time. Yes, we need more gun control. Yes, we need free mental health services in this country. But I really believe that even if we had better gun control laws and better mental health, that we would still be the sort of sick and twisted, violent people that we’ve been for hundreds of years, that it’s something that’s just in our craw, just in our DNA. And to get that out of our DNA is going to take a lot more than passing a bill in Albany or D.C. That’s not going to do it.And, you know, other countries, I mean, they have their crazy people, and they have people that—there have been shootings and killings in Norway, in France and in Germany. But there haven’t been 61 mass killings like there have been in this country just since Columbine. Sixty-one mass shootings in this country. I like to say that I sort of agree with the NRA when they say, "Guns don’t kill people, people kill people," except I would just modify that a bit and say, "Guns don’t kill people, Americans kill people," because that’s what we do. We invade countries. We send drones in to kill civilians. We’ve got five wars going on right now where our soldiers are killing people—I mean, five that we know of. We are on the short list of illustrious countries who have the death penalty. We believe it’s OK to kill you when you’ve committed a crime.

Fawning over:

- pictures of precious baby deer Mesut Özil wearing a cardigan and looking like a bored 8 year old at a banquet.

- every interview Martin Freeman has done while promoting The Hobbit.

- Joe Gilgun

Cruise Talk!

It's getting close, you guys!  Another January and another cruise!!

My sister in law Kristine and I are leaving on a cruise to St. Thomas, Tortola, Antigua, and The Bahamas in the middle of January and I fucking cannot wait.

We finalized our flights, excursions and our hotel in Miami for the night before the cruise departs last Saturday.

We're staying  at this super cute hotel in one of those sherbet-colored art deco buildings in South Beach.

Hotel Shelley

So since this time we have to fly to our departure city instead of driving (the ship left out of Galveston, TX last time)  I am definitely going to have to pare down my packing list to essentials.  Which means I can't coordinate a different shoe for each dinner outfit.  And also I can't bring a different dress for each night of the cruise.  Bummer Summer.

BUT... I am 50 lbs lighter than I was last time, and I get to buy some super cute new clothes for the trip! Huzzah!!!

Champagne for everyone!

There will be two fancy evenings on the ship.  These are the outfits I have planned.  Same dress and shoes, different jewelry.

I have a pair of cheap rhinestone stud earrings to wear with both,
but I can't find a good dupe for them on Polyvore.

In addition to using the same dress and shoes for two nights, I'm planning on relying pretty heavily on the same basic cosmetic items instead of packing all of my eyeshadow palettes because I might maybe who knows want to wear a blue eyeshadow on a whim because I know I never will and it's a giant waste of precious suitcase space.

Here are my essentials:

With these and a few eyeliner pencils I should be able to paint my face to perfection every night.

On the last trip, I painted my nails black for the entire trip and just kept adding coats of polish to cover the chips.  It worked great!  And I think black nails looks super chic when they are nicely done.  My favorite black polish is from Avon and it's called Warm Black.  I think it might be discontinued which is sad because it flows onto the nail so well.  So it looks like I need to start hoarding that one.

Okay... so this has been a post about absolutely nothing, but I've enjoyed it because I am seriously so excited about this trip.  Bless your heart if you read this entire thing... you're a real trooper.