A Sneak Peek At Our Engagement Photos!

A few weeks ago on a bright and sunny Monday afternoon in March,  Wade and I met with our super rad wedding photographer Brandi with Lola Jo Photo Design to have our engagement photos taken.

We have been so excited to collaborate with Brandi on these photos because she was our first choice for our wedding photographer, and photography was one of the first major wedding details we nailed down after getting engaged.

However, I super duper hate getting my photo taken.  It's not because I hate how I look.  I just feel really uncomfortable being the center of attention.

There are Portias and there are Ellens on this red carpet of life.  I am an Ellen.

But our afternoon with Brandi went swimmingly and I think the results speak for themselves!

Scroll down for the big reveal!

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Keep going... it's worth it!

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BOOM.  Photo magic in your face.

Okay.... here are some actual engagement photos.

Needless to say, I am so pleased with the results and I can't wait for our big day to get here!

In other news, my wedding dress arrived and it fits perfectly so I can eat all of the hot dogs I want (within reason) up until my wedding day and it will be A-OK.  Huzzah!

How I Gave Up Joy (and Cheddar) and Started Hating Life: An Essay on the Whole 30 Plan

Hello, you beautiful strawberry muffin-like human beings! 

Here is something I know nothing about: bitcoins.

And here is something I know plenty about: dieting.

I’m officially in the midst of week 3 of this crazy mishegoss, and I’m feeling a little bit more steady and little bit more like a champion.

But last week was R-U-F-F.

Actually the first two weeks were an experience like what I imagine it would be like going to an S&M dominatrix and paying her to beat the hell out of you and then realizing 10 minutes in that you are not a masochist or submissive in any way but also realizing that you’ve forgotten to establish a safe word and also you can’t speak anyways because of the ball gag plus you’ve paid for this so now you’ve just got to endure it because god forbid anyone ever call you a quitter.

Yeah… kind of like that.

Thus far I have endured dinners at Red Lobster (I ate plain cod and broccoli while everyone else lobster-fested) and Old Chicago (I sullenly ate nothing), a cocktail party during which I could consume neither cocktails nor the accompanying appetizers, a pub crawl during which I could not consume beer or the accompanying greasy appetizers and sandwiches (and also had a fit of lightheadedness), and made a birthday cake that I also did not get to partake of. IT HAS BEEN DEE-FUCKING-LIGHTFUL.

At this point I’m pretty sure I’ve started several hundred pregnancy rumors or people think I have some sort of eating disorder.

But keep in mind, that I have chosen all of this. This is all my doing. I have no one to blame but myself.

And all of this is to build up to this: I HAVE THE GREATEST BOYFRIEND ON THE FACE OF PLANET EARTH AND MARS AND VENUS AND PROBABLY URANUS TOO. His face should be emblazoned on a million trillion gold medallions for all eternity.

Last weekend when I was just completely downtrodden and hungry and miserable, he spent the entire weekend making me things. He bought this great cookbook that I can’t recommend enough called Nom Nom Paleo (and the corresponding food blog too!) and performed all sorts of kitchen wizardry to stock me up with Devils on Horseback (made with prunes, prosciutto and faux ricotta), prosciutto crisps (deloish), the craziest most delicious kalua pork you will ever eat, cauliflower “rice”, and strawberry banana ice cream.

I’m feeling much more even-keeled now and, dare I say, like some kind of 5th level diamond star paleo vision master from the darkest side of the moons of Saturn. Or like this tiger:

Focus. Determination. Meat.

Important side note: The tigers at our local zoo apparently love the smell of Lady Stetson so the zookeepers periodically douse areas of their enclosure with it for the tigers’ entertainment. 

Life Tip: Never douse yourself in Lady Stetson for any reason, but especially for tiger reasons.

Anyways...  I'm feeling pretty confident now about my ability to finish up this horseshit strong, but I also already have my elaborate post-Whole 30 celebration meal planned which is a tedious progressive 4 course meal across the sprawling metropolis of Wichita, Kansas with a miniature golf interlude.

It's going to be the Super Bowl of cheat meals.

Cheese you later, Cool Kids!

Does Heaven Smell Like Pizza?

Let’s get deep… and then get really shallow

Life is weird.

That’s the most important thing I can think of to say to anyone reading this after my nearly 6 months of radio silence.

And because life is weird, the roads you find yourself rambling down are sometimes unexpected and beautiful and terrifyingly cool.

I’ve been really scared a lot lately, which is a weird thing to experience when you’re also really incredibly happy. It’s like a brain can’t just allow happiness to exist by itself. It has to send some other companion feeling to make it more interesting and bizarre. So my brain sent fear. And my theory is that it sent fear because the happiness is so good and because I finally for once in my life have something very real to lose.

That is fucking scary as shit. Who voluntarily signs up for this level of vulnerability? Apparently we all do. What is the matter with us?!


I will also say that love is weird. It takes you down the scariest and weirdest and still even more terrifyingly cool paths. And I think maybe it is because it’s so unexpected BUT at the same time it’s the thing you spend so much of your life looking for that makes it SO WEIRD. It feels like an out of body experience sometimes. Like you’re hovering above your body sitting next to the body of someone else thinking “Okay so this is what it’s like to cherish someone else’s existence and be cherished for your own existence. That’s kind of cool.” And the warmth and happiness you feel is like curling up in a giant velvet bean bag chair and covering yourself in cocker spaniel puppies.

John Steinbeck explains it a little bit better in a letter to his son in 1958:

There are several kinds of love. One is a selfish, mean, grasping, egotistical thing which uses love for self-importance. This is the ugly and crippling kind. The other is an outpouring of everything good in you -- of kindness and consideration and respect -- not only the social respect of manners but the greater respect which is recognition of another person as unique and valuable. The first kind can make you sick and small and weak but the second can release in you strength, and courage and goodness and even wisdom you didn't know you had.

It’s pretty rad.



And now on to something completely ridiculous… MY TERRIBLE DIET.


I decided to give this Whole 30 nonsense a try. Basically you give up everything delicious for a month and it’s supposed to make you feel like a million trillion solid gold medallions.

It’s the worst. I’m on Day Something or Other (probably 11, but I don’t have the energy to look at a calendar… probably because I haven’t eaten cheese for days) and my body is legit falling apart. In the first week I caught a cold (my 17th of the season), got my period 2 weeks early, and started obsessively thinking about cake and tacos and pizza (my GAWD the things I do to pizza in my brain). I also whine a lot (more than usual).

I’m swiftly wearing out my ‘Complain About Your Diet’ pass with people in my real life, so expect to catch some more of that here! Huzzah for you!!