Emerging from the Pumpkin Spice and Wood Smoke Miasma

HI GUYS!  I still exist!

I was in kind of a lull for a bit... not a lot going on.

Except that my brave and talented friend Kari at The Sunset Lane blog helped me merchandise my place up a bit by making me a new light fixture to hang over my dining room table (you should go read about that here).  And then further pimping my ride by putting gold polka dots all over my ceiling!!!  And I finally got my bar cart shellacked with gold spray paint and installed in my living room.

I did some socializing too!  I went to my first Tallgrass Film Festival last week.  My favorite movie didn't win any awards, but you should go watch it on iTunes because it is amazing.  It's called Muscle Shoals.

Seriously.  Go.  Watch it.  So good.

Anyways... here is a very well executed, award winning, MS Paint collage representation of my past month.  Hope everyone is well!

My Battle Against Impending Spinsterhood

So the big announcement is...

I'VE JOINED AN ONLINE DATING WEBSITE.

And, you guys, I hate it.  It's the worst.  I just don't understand anything that is going on.

And that's not just the dating website... that's just in life, like in general, I have no idea what the fuck is going on ever.

So over the weekend I made my mom take some cheesecake photos of me because, other big announcement, I have lost 100 lbs, and I had zero photos of myself not looking like a zeppelin.

(Side note:  I'll post a few of the photos later. There is one in particular that is a gem that I think I should share, but I forgot to email them to myself)

And, you guys, I don't know what I expected.  I don't know if I have incredibly high standards, or if the pickins' are just super slim around these parts, but every guy that has contacted me seems like a serial killer, a broseph, or a total schmo.  I mean, I realize this is real life and not an adorable romantic comedy starring Reese Witherspoon and Tom Hardy, but jeez louise...  is there no one out there that likes the same weird shit I like and can simultaneously rock a fucking suit? Or how about just a guy that doesn't have a photo of himself wearing fucking Oakley sunglasses?  Jesus H. Christ.

Am I going to die "fat and alone, and be found three weeks later half-eaten by Alsatiens (or pugs)"?

And if I am, can I just figure out how to be okay with that?

I don't know... it's been three days and I'm feeling totes discouraged.

Also, I'm still living at home right now, and I feel like any quality dude is going to find that weird.  I'm moving back out on my own in the spring, but in the mean time I feel weird about having to address all of the debbie downer reasons I moved back home in the first place.  Thoughts?

Help me, I'm poor in social skills.