Imaginary Boyfriend Thursday... Another One Bites the Dust Edition

My longtime soccer boyf is going off the market this weekend.

That's right.  Little Xavi Shortpants is getting married to his girlfriend Nuria this weekend.

You guys, I don't know whether to laugh, cry, throw glitter in the air, or curl up in the fetal position.

I'm super happy for him, BUT I never thought I'd live to see the day.  I had him down in my book as a foreversingle just like me and now he's getting married and I just... I just... I just don't know about this.  I hate changes. I hate people growing up and being adults and doing adult things while I'm still back here living like a perpetual 13 year old.

It's the shits.

I bet he's going to look super hot in his wedding outfit.  I hope it looks something like this:

If I were a guest at the wedding, I would probably show up in something like this get-up:

In deep mourning, you guys.

Let's Take An Imaginary Vacation!

Years ago when I hated entirely loathed my job, I used to play a game with myself
to decompress and escape every once in awhile.

This game has very simple, easy-to-follow rules:

1. Browse resort websites online.
2. Pick out the one you like the best.
3. Pretend you are vacationing there instead of in your office being miserable.

I heard a morning tv show mention this weekend that studies show that most people
get more enjoyment out of planning a vacation than they do out of the actual vacation.
So it turns out my imaginary vacation planning game might not be so random.

Today my imaginary boyfriend Xavi is taking me to the Seychelles for a quick getaway
before the start of Euro.

We're staying at the Four Seasons Resort.  It looks pretty rad, you guys.

And since my stomach is so perfectly flat, I'll be wearing this most of the time:

What I Wish I Wore On Holiday 1 by luxlis featuring a straw beach tote

I'll send you guys a postcard!

Monday Morning Things and Such

You guys, I wasn't really planning on seeing The Avengers.

But now I'm thinking I definitely maybe should go?

This weekend I got my first book for my reading the 50 greatest books project.  I'm starting at #50 with Tom Jones and working my way to #1 over the course of the next 7,000 years (approximately).

Who knew a biography of Tom Jones was such an important and influential book?  I didn't.

I also bought myself this t-shirt to wear during my Euro viewing activities this summer:

Those are the names of the core Spanish National Team.  I will be the nerd wearing this.

Although, if I had my choice it would be a t-shirt with just this motherflippers face and torso emblazoned on it:

In other news, I am .2 lbs away from reaching my next 10% weight loss goal.   I probably would have reached it if I hadn't eaten 15 chocolate cookies this weekend.  Very exciting, though!  I'm at the lowest weight I have been in like 3 years.  Huzzah!

My Barca Boys

You know how there are things that you just love without having to think about it or try?

Things like:

- a slice of warm pie with vanilla ice cream

- re-runs of Designing Women

- watching someone fall down

- that first sip of ice-cold beer on a hot day

- the way wheat fields looks in May... all green and velvet-y

These are not acquired tastes.  You just love them... you savor them without even having to remind yourself to do so.


Well, that's how I feel about soccer.  That's how I feel about FC Barcelona soccer.

Someday, you guys.  I will be right smack dab in this middle
of these shenanigans.

So the thing is, if you met me in real life, I am not the kind of person you would meet and think 'I bet this girl is really passionately obsessed with sports and especially soccer.'  You just wouldn't.  You would probably more likely think 'I wonder how many cats she has, and should I tell her that her fly is down?'

But I am. I may be writing this right smack dab in the middle of Kansas, but I am no less a culé than if I were sitting right smack dab in the middle of that stadium in Barcelona.

Instead of trying to write a 20 page essay about Barca that no one in their right mind would ever try to read I will  simply highlight my two favorite people on the team.

First up is Xavi.

I'm convinced that if I ever made direct eye contact
with Xavi, I would instantly melt into a puddle of
strawberry jam and rainbows.

Xavi is just Xavi.  No last name necessary.  He is Il Maestro.  He is the heart and soul of the team.  I once read a quote from one of his teammates that the first thing any of them do when they get the ball is to find Xavi and pass the ball to him.  He is not a superstar in the sense that he rarely makes goals himself, but if a goal is scored by one of his teammates there is a 99% chance that it was scored from a pass that he set up.

It's really better to see him in action.

Also, one of his hobbies is mushroom-hunting.  So he is also a giant nerd, and you know how I feel about those in general.

My second favorite person at Barca is Pep Guardiola, the manager (coach).

Sometimes I think he looks like a more handsome, Spanish Karl Pilkington.

Pep is not only probably the greatest manager in Barcelona history, he is dapper as fuck.  We're talking Don Draper levels of dapperdom.  Epic.  And he's a Barcelona boy to the core.  Played there as a youth, played there as an adult, managed the B team, and then finally managed the main team.  And he's only 41 years old.

So this past Saturday was Pep's last game in Camp Nou (the Barcelona stadium) because he has decided to leave after the season ends in May.  You guys, it is for realsies breaking my heart to see him go.

So they won the game 4-0 which was awesome.

And then this happened:

It says "We love you, Pep!"

Por Los Aires

The entire team and staff dancing mid-pitch to Viva La Vida by Coldplay.

And I'm not kidding you, TEARS streaming down my face like a real asshole, you guys.

So now you know... although I'm 100% positive you were already pretty aware... I am a gigantic nerd/crazy person.