Impslapped

My Super-Intelligent Thoughts re: Last Night's Episode of Game of Thrones

1. SAMWELL... he gave Gilly his mom's thimble. He is my a precious darling.

2. Jon Snow's hair after his scuffle with Craster made me laugh.  He seems like he would be very vain about his hair.  He was probably more upset about his hair being messed up than the cuts on his face.  I guarantee it.

3. Tyrion.  Holy shit TYRION.  Like a fucking boss.  He should totes be king. Also Tyrion and Bronn are my favorite bromance of all time.

I wish this were a real spinoff.  I would watch it so hard.

4. No King in My Pants The North AGAIN this week.  Bummer summer.

5. Best line of the entire series thus far : "These are the knights of summer and winter is coming." Chills.

6. I wanted to hate Margaery Tyrell mostly because I'm not a ginormous fan of Natalie Dormer (it's her mouth or something... I don't know), but I kind of dig her.  Girl sure does love to rock a low cut bodice.

7. Shae kind of annoys me.  The Dinklage could do better.

8. Oh Theon.... nononononoNO.  The scene when he burned the letter was ridiculously beautifully filmed though.

9. Slow clap for Arya Stark for being a BAMF.

10. I already miss Yoren.

Imaginary Boyfriend Thursday... Throwback Edition

Do any of you guys really feel like adults?  Like responsible, tax-paying, chardonnay-drinking adults?

I don't.

I think the last age I remember being good at is 13.  Seriously... I was awesome at being 13.

When I was 13 I spent an entire summer laying around a swimming pool, reading Seventeen Magazines, and day-dreaming about cute musicians.  So, basically, the same things I enjoy doing now (just swap out the teen magazine for Glamour or Architectural Digest).

Today's Imaginary Boyfriend has the honor of officially being my longest running crush.  We're pushing 20 years together (in my mind).  That's a lot longer than most marriages, you guys.  That's commitment.

His name is Graham Coxon, and when we first met he was playing guitar for Blur (a band that continues to be one of my all time favorites).  He has since moved on to make critically (and Jess)-acclaimed solo albums.  He is rad, you guys.

But the thing is... he's not really eye candy in the traditional sense.

He's got that whole nerd chic thing going on (which he was doing waaaay before Weezer and their ilk dreamt it up). He wears glasses and sweater vests and tweed and corduroy... all while on stage rocking out.

Bestill my 13 going on 31 heart.  I still think he is pretty terrific.

Here is one of my favorite songs by Graham.  I was going to pick one of his original songs, but he does a cover of The Libertines 'Time For Heroes' that blows my mind... sososo good.

These

This...

This is a pug dressed as Skrillex.  

This...

This is a pug dressed as a taun taun from Star Wars.

This...

Click on the photo to go to a video (which I can't imbed for some reason)
of painter Chuck Close reading a letter he wrote to his younger self.  It is beautiful.

This quote from the above video...

"Inspiration is for amateurs.  The rest of us just show up and get to work."


And this song...

This is Karen O's cover of Led Zeppelin's Immigrant Song with Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross from the opening titles of The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. The opening titles were my favorite part of the movie.

Tales of Infanticide and Incest

That's the alternative title I came up with for Game of Thrones.  Here are some more highly intuitive thoughts about last night's episode:

- I almost felt sorry for Theon.  ALMOST. And then he told that poor, dumb girl to smile with her mouth closed.

- From now on I will only be paying the iron price for everything. Grocery shopping is going to be tres interessant this week.

- I want to make Samwell Tarly a heaping plate of pancakes for just being so darn cute.

Look at his little face! It kills me!

- I mean, seriously, it was like a parade of adorable Samwell last night. He wanted to try to deliver Gilly's baby because he had "read about it a bit"...  no doubt on WebMD.

- Gendry and Arya. GENDRY AND ARYA!  I love their banter. So cute!

- Jaqen!! Very excited for Jaqen.  VERY.

Source.

- And once again The Dinklage brought it hardcore with the witticisms and clever clark one-liners. Like a boss... every episode.

Imaginary Boyfriend Thursday... Old Dudes Edition

Let's talk about a age-old battle... known to pit mother against daughter, sister against sister, and friend against friend in epic battles of will (and hair pulling and fingernail-clawing).

It's heartbreaking to behold.

But let it never be said that Jess ever shied away from difficult topics and controversy. Which is why it's time to choose...

His eyes are seducing me through the internet.

VS.

In Brad Pitt's dreams he is this ridiculously good looking.

If you don't know who these two are, I think we need to have a serious talk about our friendship.

Let The Hunger Games Begin! 

The Spring Reds

I think i'm suffering from bloggers block.  It's totes a thing, you guys.

Not that the material I provide here is ever top notch, but I do try for the most part.  It just ain't happening this week.

Did you know that some cases of anxiety and depression are triggered by the transition to Spring?  It's true... I read it on the internet machine so it must be.  Apparently, it has something to do with the longer days and exposure to sunlight and biorhythms or something, but it makes people feel batshit crazy.

I know I'm definitely feeling the anxiety... it's really more like a case of Holly Golightly Mean Reds.

Here are some of the things I am anxious about:

- What if my one true talent is the violin, but since I never tried it as a child I will never know that I am a violin prodigy?
- What if my car tires all explode at once while I'm driving 70 mph?
- What if I'm walking through the yard and get scraped by a stick and end up with that flesh eating bacteria because I read a story about that happening to a woman once?
- What if Rick Santorum ends up president?

Spin that all together with a bunch of random thoughts about Game of Thrones, cake, unicorns, and Harry Lloyd...

... And you have a pretty accurate representation of my brain. So basically like this:

Yes, exactly like that.

Dragon Christmas Thoughts

Here are the most intelligent things I thought about during the season premiere of Game of Thrones:

- Craster asked Jon about his "moist" vagina.  You just got hardcore burned, Jon Snow.

- Was Robb about to make out with his mom?  It really felt like it for a second.

- Melisandre is like a red Elvira.

- Where the fuck is Arya?

- Bronn and Tyrion 'til the end of time, y'all.

- Not nearly enough Samwell.

- On the list of most likely ways I will die, wine-drowning is probably in the top 5.

- Jon Snow, when you hear a story about a man marrying his daughters, begetting more daughters, and then marrying those daughters, your very first question shouldn't be about his sons.