Magpie Heart

In the mood for something new and shiny?  Always.


Baublebar Lightening Rod Drops

I bought these earrings to wear to the Wichita Art Museum Color Party.  It was the tenth anniversary of the party so they asked people to dress in any of the colors from the past ten parties.

I bought a cheap but awesome tonal sequin dress from Forever 34, but when it arrived I realized that I looked like 10 lbs of potatoes in a 5 lbs sack.  Nope nope nope.

I ended up wearing a black goddess-y maxi dress with neon embroidery from last summer.  I still wore the earrings, and I copied this hairstyle.

You guys, I looked like some kind of Electric Kool-Aid Earth Goddess from the Moon.  I felt awesome. Totally worth the $34.

Drunk. Terrible Lighting. Very Happy.

Klimt Tarot - Pocket Golden Edition

Use them. Frame them.  Keep them in a pretty silk pouch and just enjoy the knowledge that you possess them.  Whatevs.

Here is a good Tarot reference guide for getting started!


Real Techniques Brushes - this set, this set, and THIS BRUSH for starters

 

You guys.  You GUYS.  The expert face brush alone is worth its weight in gold.  These brushes are so ding dang cheap and so well-made... plus they are synthetic which means precious baby animals are not being harmed for your vain ass self.

I was a MAC/Sigma/Zoeva/Morphe brush-aholic.  These are better.  Plus they are so cheap that you can buy multiple sets... and you will want multiple sets.  The base shadow brush from the eyes starter set (purple brushes) is a more wonderful MAC 217.  Which anyone who spends any amount of time doing make knows is the end all be all of eye shadows brushes.  It's your base shadow brush, your crease brush, your blending brush, your concealer brush, your nose contour brush.  You can't have enough of them.

And that expert face brush will change your foundation/blush/bronzer/contour game.  So so good.

OH!  And the deluxe crease brush from the eyes starter set is my new go-to concealer blending brush!

Riotous Late Summer Tingles

I'm heavily into dog pool parties and other dog pool party related interests these days.

Today I thought I would share some bits and bats that are really putting the jive in my turkey these days.


1. This mock turtleneck poncho top from Forever 21 which is light enough to wear in 80° weather, but black enough to make me look like a witch (my favorite aesthetic).

2. Devil's Spoke by Laura Marling... is goth folk a genre?  It should be.

3. This makeup tutorial is the perfect summer to fall transition... nude lip for summer, berry lip for winter.

4. Opinion sharing time:  This should have been the song of the summer.

Get off my areola, indeed.

5. Planning on making these pretzel bread bowls and filling them with beer cheese soup very soon.  Hello Oktoberfest.

6. An important reminder:

I hope y'all are kicking this Monday to the moon!

P.S.  Only 19 days to go!

Things and Such

Greetings and Howdy-Do!  Long time no bullshit!

This wedding nonsense is winding down (1 month and 1 day left you guys!), and life is being less life-y... so blogging here I come!

Let's ease me back in gently with some things I found while being inundated with wedding related advertising.  I can't wait for my recommendations on Etsy to not look like this anymore:

First of all let's talk about Diesel the Bulldog.

You guys this is a metaphor for so many things in my life.  Mostly my relationship with food.

Speaking of food (and weird relationships with food)... someone buy this for me.

Have you ever purchased an article of clothing because you were excited about how much food you could comfortably eat while wearing it?  I'd like to introduce you to my new Thanksgiving dinner shirt:

It's basically a tablecloth with a hole cut out for my head.  Thanks, Forever 21!

So I really would like to make blogging a regular thing again.  I miss this blog's musk so much!  I promise not to change it to a cute-sy asshole newlywed blog with an asshole name like 'Miss to Missus'.  Barf me to death.

Also,  this is what Henry has been up to:

Talk to you soon, dumplings!

Riotous Springtime Tingles

Here look at these things while I try to find time in the chaos of my current lifescope to formulate thoughts and organize those thoughts into a blog entry...  jesus h christ.

This sculpture:

This quote that I can't find accredited to anyone inspite of my exhaustive research on the internet machine (I searched on google once):

"And kid, you’ve got to love yourself. You’ve got wake up at four in the morning, brew black coffee, and stare at the birds drowning in the darkness of the dawn. You’ve got to sit next to the man at the train station who’s reading your favorite book and start a conversation. You’ve got to come home after a bad day and burn your skin from a shower. Then you’ve got to wash all your sheets until they smell of lemon detergent you bought for four dollars at the local grocery store. You’ve got to stop taking everything so goddam personally. You are not the moon kissing the black sky. You’ve got to compliment someones crooked brows at an art fair and tell them that their eyes remind you of green swimming pools in mid July. You’ve got to stop letting yourself get upset about things that won’t matter in two years. Sleep in on Saturday mornings and wake yourself up early on Sunday. You’ve got to stop worrying about what you’re going to tell her when she finds out. You’ve got to stop over thinking why he stopped caring about you over six months ago. You’ve got to stop asking everyone for their opinions. Fuck it. Love yourself, kiddo. You’ve got to love yourself."

Tina on Bob's Burgers is my heart's twin:

And this sentiment:

Also my shit-tastic diet is over and now that I can eat all of the cheese and candy that I want to I'm kind of okay with not eating it.  It's like I've joined some kind of cult.

Tingles

I seem to be in a kind of cocoon/waiting room period in my life right now.  It's kind of cool because I think when your life quiets down for a bit you know that big exciting stuff is in the works.  It's a feeling I really dig.  So in the meantime I've been cultivating the art of finding things that make me happy just for the sake of being happy.

And in the spirit of sharing (or talking about myself... which, let's face, is the entire raison d'être of this blog) I thought I'd do a little show and tell about some of my recent tingles.

1. Welcome to Night Vale

I'm sure many of you have already known about Night Vale for months and months, but I am traditionally the last person on every cool kid band wagon so I just heard about it this week.  For those that haven't heard about it, Welcome to Night Vale is a bi-weekly podcast about a little town in the desert called Night Vale where a lot of weird shit is happening.  It's kind of like Rod Serling and Amy Sedaris wrote an episode of Prairie Home Companion.  It's truly very awesome even if you aren't a science fiction fan.

2. The Wire by Haim

This is a new song from super cool sister group Haim.  I love their sound... like some weird Stevie Nicks/Belinda Carlisle/mid 90s Liz Phair combo. 

3. The Daily Love

I'm a good news junkie.  I treat my happiness like a set of lost keys: I look for it everywhere.  This website/daily email newsletter has become such a highlight in my day.  The creator Mastin Kipp started The Daily Love as a twitter account when he was in the baby steps of his own spiritual journey.  It's crazy how almost every day Mastin's message in my inbox feels almost like it was written specifically for me and addresses something I am currently going through... like today, for instance:

How many of us can do that in life? Instead of demanding what we want and wanting it now, can we ask The Uni-verse for what we want, and then let go? Can we rest in the peace of the moment knowing we are provided for and that the perfect thing, which is probably better than what we asked for in the first place, will show up?

Do we really have the faith to live the maybe? Or better put, can we see that the delays of The Uni-verse are not Its denials? Can we let go and let things unfold naturally? 

This just really spoke to me and how I've been feeling lately... like all of my momentum has been put on hold.  I think I've been struggling to recognize it as temporary, and instead I've been worrying that I might be at a dead end.  I've been seeing lots of 'Nos' when really I've been getting lots of 'Maybes'.  I had such a great aha moment when I read this.

4. The rain

We've been getting Oregonian levels of rain around here.  I am in love with it.  Everything is so GREEN and beautiful.  The trees are actually growing moss and there are mushrooms everywhere.  It's majestic.  But I am genuinely sorry for the people with flooded basements.

5. This picture of a tiger living his/her best life.

Every time I look at this picture of a tiger relaxing in a waterfall I feel peaceful.  And I don't know where I am in this photo... am I the tiger?  Am I the water flowing around the tiger? Or am I the stone and rock on which the tiger lays and over which the water flows?  Do I care?  Nope.

Waffle Christmas

I bet you didn't know today is the most important day in the whole waffle calendar!

IT'S NATIONAL WAFFLE DAY, KIDS!!

It's also the day that I chose to eat less carbs for a week.  *Sad trombone*

I'll just have to rest easy in the knowledge that I've celebrated waffles pretty hard and thoroughly all year round, and in the meantime I'll think about the Patron Saint of Waffles (and one of my role models), Leslie Knope.

And always remember what Leslie says, "Waffles, friends, work".

And on a non-waffle related note, I think this essay called What Love Should Feel Like by Danielle Campoamor is wonderful.  Here's one of my favorite parts:

Love should feel like a marathon. It should exhilarate your heart and exhaust your mind and challenge your resolve. You’ll tell yourself you can’t keep going as you continue to put one foot in front of the other, taking every helpful and rejuvenating cup of water along the way. At the end, you’ll realize how many contributed to your happiness and success.

Bits and Bats and Progress On a Major Life Goal

Have you guys seen the thing where adorable Brazilian children are politely correcting the grammar of celebrities' tweets in order to improve their own English?

Something about it makes me feel good about humanity.


I had a weird dream last night that I learned how to rock climb by climbing Devil's Tower in Wyoming.

And I was totally fine the entire time I was climbing.  Fearless.  Just slow strutting up the shear face of this thing.

And then I got to the top and looked down at what I had accomplished... the heights I had risen to... and that's when the paralyzing fear kicked in hard.  I was overwhelmed. I remember making a conscious decision to sit down and give myself some time to really come to terms with the accomplishment.  Something about not being able to undo what I had done (even though it was an amazing, powerful thing) was really difficult to process.  I could never again in my life say that I hadn't climbed a 1,300 foot extinct volcano.

I think there is something in that feeling.  Sometimes success and moving forward are scary just because it means a fundamental change in yourself.  Even if that change is good and even if your life looks more than ever like what you always dreamed it would look like, it's still a thing you have to fucking process and take time trying to get your claws around.  And that's okay.


This song is fucking killing me it's so awesome.  Just bury me in the ground with a boom box playing this on an infinite loop.

Major Lazer - You're No Good (featuring Santigold, Vybz Kartel, Danielle Haim, and Yasmin)

Seriously, you guys... SO GOOD.

And now for some veryveryvery serious business.

I'm sure you guys are aware of my lifelong quest for the mirror-like shine and gloss of Kyle Richards' hair.

I'm not saying I'm there yet, but some major progress has been made because of this product:

I used this for the first time last night and you guys... no seriously YOU GUYS... my hair is so shiny and soft today!  My little vain heart is singing with riotous joy... go buy it!

Tumblr Treasures

Have you kids spent much time on Tumblr?

I've been using it for about a year, and to say I enjoy it is like saying Keith Richards kinda likes cocaine.

A friend recently asked me what the deal was with Tumblr...  is it kind of like Twitter or Facebook?

I don't really have a great answer for those questions, probably because, like most things, you get out of it what you put into it, but in my experience it's a great place to spew out all of the batshit crazy things that rattle around in my brain... images, thoughts, music, Game of Thrones biz, photos of footballers, pop cultural references, and gifs  (oh my the gifs).  I think because the focus is primarily on a kind of immediate, short form, stream of conscious style blogging, it gives you a little glimpse into another person's inner life.

There are also a lot of moping teenagers on Tumblr.  But I speak moping teenager fluently so it's not a real issue for me.

But for every 5 moping teenager Tumblr blogs, there is at least one really interesting and informative or just plain fun themed Tumblr.  I thought I would share some of my absolute favorites as a kind of primer for those who are interested in taking a fall down the K-hole that is Tumblr.

1. Vintage National Geographic - scans of images from National Geographic magazines dating back to the 1800s.

Traders in Tonle Sap, Cambodia. May, 1982.

2. Beyonce - Yeah that's right, losers:  Beyonce is on tumblr.  So is the president.  But, more importantly, BEYONCE IS ON TUMBLR... and you probably should be too.

3. World of Mesopotamia - This is literally just cool shit from Mesopotamia: drawings, artifacts, statues, ruins, etc.  Sounds boring, but it really isn't.

Ancient Pazuzu statue.

Pazuzu is the Assyrian king of the demons of the wind. Though an evil spirit himself, he wards off many other evil spirits so was thought to be beneficial to mankind. The original was made to resemble a common representation of the demon, such as the one in the Louvre. Pazuzu has a dog-like head, human body, wings, eagle-talon feet and snake penis.

Snake penis, you guys.  Whoa.

4. The Rumblr - The Rumblr is The Rumpus' Tumblr.  A nice collection of quotes, articles, poems, random gifs and photos, PLUS Madame Clairevoyant's awesome horoscopes (previously discussed here).

5. My Friends Are Married - This is one of those overdone 'match a random gif to a random emotion' blogs, but its consistent accuracy and ability to make me laugh have secured its place as one of my faves.

6. Kors Metaphors - This one hasn't updated in 2 months, but it's still pretty quality for idle scrolling and mirth.

7. And these are just some random people that consistently use Tumblr to write very interesting, personal, and, of course, funny content that I always enjoy reading:

gowns
sashayed
dickpicoftheartist
synecdoche
drinkyourjuice

Okay... go forth and tumbl!

Bric A Brac

From Why You're Single by Amanda Crute:

You are single because you are single. It’s really as simple as that. You haven’t made the connection with another heart yet. You can get dolled up, dress cute, cut your hair, dye your hair, tweeze your eyebrows, put on lipstick and you may still. be. single. You can go out to a bar hoping to meet the love of your life and not find a damn one in the place attractive. And it’s going to remain that way until it’s time for you to find one. Stop hoping for it. Start living the life that you do have instead of wishing for things that you don’t have. There will come a time you’ll meet a boy and you’ll have to give up some of this single freedom you currently have. Start being more thankful. Start doing that now.

Articulate thoughts from articulate people regarding the Steubenville Rape Trial (emphasis mine):

 From Jenny Trout:

I have no doubt in my mind that these young men did not know they were raping that girl. Note: I'm not excusing them from raping her. I'm sure, I'm 100% sure, that they knew they were doing something very, very wrong. Maybe in their heads they thought, "We're taking advantage of this drunk girl," or "She's not saying yes, but she's not saying no, either." But I have no doubt that they didn't realize what they were engaged in was rape.
Because we don't teach young men what rape is; we want to protect their right to rape.

And from Henry Rollins:

I think to a great degree, we humans still divide ourselves into two species, even though we are monotypic. There are males and females. We see them as different and not equal. Things get better when women get more equality. That is a bit obvious but I think it leads to better results up the road. If it’s a man’s world as they say, then men, your world is a poorly run carnage fest.

It is obvious that the two offenders saw the victim as some one that could be treated as a thing. This is not about sex, it is about power and control. I guess that is what I am getting at. Sex was probably not the hardest thing for the two to get, so that wasn’t the objective. When you hear the jokes being made during the crime, it is the purest contempt.

So, how do you fix that? I’m just shooting rubber bands at the night sky but here are a few ideas: Put women’s studies in high school the curriculum from war heroes to politicians, writers, speakers, activists, revolutionaries and let young people understand that women have been kicking ass in high threat conditions for ages and they are worthy of respect.

And, on a lighter note, horoscopes from The Rumpus written by Madame Clairevoyant, who does not claim to know anything about astrology, and, yet, manages to write some of the most insightful horoscopes I've ever read:

Capricorn: When things bother you this week, when things go wrong, you might feel like the whole world is burning up, like your body and your life are disintegrating, like everything’s falling apart. It’s going to drive you crazy, the little things that don’t go right this week, but try to ride out your frustration—watch it until it starts to move. The anger you’ll feel this week is the kind of force that can make the whole world open up. It can show you colors you’ve never seen before. It can show you how to fly.

The following gif is my inner self this week.  My inner monologue is the word 'murder' hissed in a sinister whisper.