November 29, 2012

Things and Such

1. Online Dating

You guys... maybe I'm just not cut out for this... or, at least, not right now.  I just have no enthusiasm for the idea of dating someone or meeting anyone.  I feel like I'm trying to force myself to care about something I have no interest in caring about.  I have the exact same attitude about watching Homeland.

2. Songza

I generally hate it when people recommend apps, but I'm super hooked on this one.  This app is a collection of playlists curated by experts, and it has a concierge feature that helps you find a playlist based on the time and day of the week.  It's awesome.  I've got a whole new list of songs I need to download, so it's also turning out to be a pretty expensive free app.  But since I'm alone and probably always will be, I might as well buy Christmas presents for myself.

3. Imaginary Boyfriend Thursday

Since I'm going to die alone, I might as well continue choosing imaginary boyfriends. Today I choose a random Irish writer/director/actor named Peter McDonald who I stumbled across this week while reading  news stories about Andrew Scott.  I think he's precious... and talented... and Irish... and I want to make him pancakes.

He's in a really funny show called Moone Boy with Chris O'Dowd.  You should check that out as well as his Oscar nominated short film Pentecost.  All quality stuff.

4.   Nothing From Nothing - Billy Preston

... is an amazing song that doesn't get the recognition and radio play it deserves.  It'll put a little kick in your step on a cold Thursday morning.

5. I laughed at this photo of Lenny Kravitz for 30 minutes straight yesterday.

Have a ridiculously good day, kids!

November 14, 2012

My Battle Against Impending Spinsterhood

So the big announcement is...


And, you guys, I hate it.  It's the worst.  I just don't understand anything that is going on.

And that's not just the dating website... that's just in life, like in general, I have no idea what the fuck is going on ever.

So over the weekend I made my mom take some cheesecake photos of me because, other big announcement, I have lost 100 lbs, and I had zero photos of myself not looking like a zeppelin.

(Side note:  I'll post a few of the photos later. There is one in particular that is a gem that I think I should share, but I forgot to email them to myself)

And, you guys, I don't know what I expected.  I don't know if I have incredibly high standards, or if the pickins' are just super slim around these parts, but every guy that has contacted me seems like a serial killer, a broseph, or a total schmo.  I mean, I realize this is real life and not an adorable romantic comedy starring Reese Witherspoon and Tom Hardy, but jeez louise...  is there no one out there that likes the same weird shit I like and can simultaneously rock a fucking suit? Or how about just a guy that doesn't have a photo of himself wearing fucking Oakley sunglasses?  Jesus H. Christ.

Am I going to die "fat and alone, and be found three weeks later half-eaten by Alsatiens (or pugs)"?

And if I am, can I just figure out how to be okay with that?

I don't know... it's been three days and I'm feeling totes discouraged.

Also, I'm still living at home right now, and I feel like any quality dude is going to find that weird.  I'm moving back out on my own in the spring, but in the mean time I feel weird about having to address all of the debbie downer reasons I moved back home in the first place.  Thoughts?

Help me, I'm poor in social skills.

November 13, 2012

What I've Been Reading... An Addendum To Yesterday's Post

Okay... so I maybe lied about posting something about online dating today.  TOMORROW.  I swear.  It's just that work is a giant shit-fest today and it's preventing me from doing things that really matter like blogging about my personal life.  Jeez, work... way to suck a bag of dicks.

So I forgot to add these awesome Agatha Christie-esque mystery novels that I've been reading to my list of "What I've been...".  I'm super in like with them, you guys.

There are lots more in the series, but these are the two I have read so far.

Okay. So these are both from the Daisy Dalrymple Series by Carola Dunn, and they WILL NOT change your life or make you think deep thoughts.  But, nonetheless, they are super fun to read and were a kind of needed palette cleanser after my summer-long Song of Ice and Fire reading bonanza.  They are the perfect books for a cold day, some cozy socks, and a nice hot cup of coffee/tea/cocoa/whiskey.  Basically, these are the book equivalent of an International Coffees commercial.

So Daisy, the main character, is an upper class English girl who is declaring her female-proud independence in the 1920s by supporting herself as a writer for Town and Country magazine. For her job as a writer she goes to various estates/castles/what-have-you to do profiles of the houses and take pretty pictures.  But, of course, while she is there someone gets murdered or a body is found.  She along with her Men Friday (specifically Chief Inspector Alec Fletcher) solve said mystery.  It's a simple, fun formula.  And, of course, there is a nice romantic subplot for Daisy and Alec.

So in my mind I've cast Felicity Jones as Daisy:

And the uber-yummy Matthew Macfadyen as Alec:

Good good stuff.

November 12, 2012

What I Am...

Just a quick post before a meatier post about *GASP* online dating tomorrow.  But here's what I've been up to lately.

Listening to:

"Ladies, if you love your man show him you the flyest. Grind up on him, girl. Show him how you ride it." is like the greatest piece of wisdom I've ever heard in a pop song.  BeyoncĂ© knows what's up, you guys.


And because of it I am crushing on:

Joseph Gilgun. Holla.


Wishing I were eating:

Banofee pie.
And thinking about:

November 8, 2012

An Imaginary Boyfriend and A Playlist

Currently lusting after...

Idris Elba... who directed and starred in the new Mumford and Sons music video for Lover of the Light.

And, you guys, if you have a weird (possibly creepy) obsession with men's hands, this is basically pornography.  Just straight up pornography. Yowza.

Currently listening to....

I made a playlist for myself called 'Slow Strut' because it makes me feel like a fucking HBIC even when I'm just filing paperwork.  I love it.  (Side note: A lot of these songs are incredibly not safe for delicate ears and sensibilities)

Track list:
1. Bad Girls (Switch Remix) (featuring Missy Elliott and Rye Rye) - MIA

2. You Be Killin Em - Fabolous

3. Y.U. MAD (featuring Nicki Minaj and Lil Wayne) - Birdman

4. Run the World (Girls) - Beyoncé

5. Did It On 'Em - Nicki Minaj

6. Dirt Off Your Shoulder - Jay-Z

7. Creator - Santogold

November 7, 2012

It Feels So Good In My Hood Tonight

This is not a political blog, but....


Just try wiping the smile from my face today.  

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