New Baby Must-Haves

Hi.  It's me, Jess.  Shouting from across the void.

A void filled with piles of unfolded baby clothes, dirty diapers, and those little disposable plastic cap things that go on the ear thermometer.

Also 7 trillion breast pump parts that have to be washed and sterilized all of the goddamn time.

You guys, I'm so tired.  Everyone tells you how tired you'll be, but you just have no way of really understanding just how tired you will be.

And breastfeeding is just a treat, she said sarcastically.

But finding yourself in survival mode for 3 months can really put into perspective what really matters in life... like having a top notch baby swing and baby pajamas that zip from the bottom so you don't have to strip your baby every time you change his diaper.

And, you know, loving something with every fiber of your being.  That shines through the darkness too.

Here are some of the things that have been absolute lifesavers for us... many were gifted to us, but many we discovered on our own as rookie parents with an Amazon Prime account.

First of all, AMAZON PRIME, you guys.  This would be my #1 gift for any new parent.  My god how we have taken advantage of that free shipping.

WASH CLOTHS - I remember after my baby showers thinking 'I have way too many tiny wash cloths'.  I was wrong.  These are handy for everything. Wiping noses. Wiping barfs. Cleaning babies. Cleaning yourself.

BURP CLOTHS - My mom made me tons of flannel burp cloths and I go through about 20 of them a day.  I love them so much. I keep them everywhere and I usually end up with about 5 of them next to his bassinet every morning from carrying them with me from night time feedings. If you don't have a cool mom to make these for you, I've been super impressed with a free one we got from Burt's Bees, but they are a little pricy.  Cloth diapers also work great. Get yourself about 30. Seriously.

WEARABLE BLANKETS - We use Halo SleepSacks.  It's part of our night time routine to put him in one of these, and I think it has helped him understand the transition from awake time to sleep time. We have a warm, sweaty little baby, but these things are light enough that they keep him cozy without making him too hot. We have two of these, plus a fleece one for colder nights.

MUSLIN BLANKETS - Anyone in the business of procreation has heard of the ubiquitous Aden & Anais muslin blankets.  I don't own a single one.  I'm sure they're great, but they seem pretty expensive for a very simply hemmed square of muslin.  My mom made me one that I absolutely love out of a fun piece of muslin she bought online.  Wade also got a great deal on a fantastic 4 layer muslin blanket on Amazon that we love.  It's plain white and just about the coziest thing you can wrap a baby in... SO SOFT.  It's also great for creating a nice backdrop for a photo.

PAJAMAS - Quentin basically lived in pajamas for the first month of his life.  Now I make an effort to put him in some kind of outfit every day (mostly because we got so many cute ones as gifts and I feel guilty not using them), but I would be 100% okay with him just living in soft pajamas.  The two standouts for us have been from Cat & Jack and Burt's Bees.  The Cat & Jack pajamas are from Target and they have a reverse zip which is SO AWESOME.  You unzip the pajamas from the bottom so that you can change a diaper without completely undressing the baby.  They are lightweight, soft and pretty decently made.  They come in a pack of 3 for about $13.  The Burt's Bees pajamas are the Cadillac of pajamas.  They don't have the reverse zip, but they are the softest and most well-made pajamas we have.  We got one as a gift and went out and bought more.  They cost around $12 each... so definitely pricier but also definitely worth every penny.

BOPPY INFANT LOUNGER - I put this infant lounger pillow on my registry impulsively and received it from a friend at my shower.  I had no idea how much I would use this thing.  Quentin has basically lived in this pillow for the past 3 months and he is sadly about to outgrow it.  We use it on the couch so that he can chill with us in the evening.  It's nice having him with us on the couch instead of in his rock n' play or swing.  We can watch TV or eat dinner and still interact with him.  It was also awesome for tummy time early on when he wasn't loving laying on his tummy.  I think it helped position him more comfortably.  It's also great for positioning for impromptu photo shoots!

Please note the ever-present pile of baby laundry in the background

BABYCONNECT APP - This app was recommended to us by my sister in law Kristine.  We use it to keep track of diaper changes and breastfeeding.  There are lots of other ways to use this app, but this is mainly what we have used it for and it has been 100% indispensable.  Every time you go to the pediatrician or lactation clinic they will ask you about the number of wet diapers and nursing sessions or bottles in the past 24 hours.  This makes figuring that out super simple.  I also keep track of his weight for no other purpose than my own entertainment.

WEESCHOOL APP - I heard about this app through Baby Rabies.  There are so many baby development milestone charts on Pinterest, but I think they were making me anxious.  This app displays just the milestones to watch for during the current month you are in age-wise.  It also gives you simple activities to do with your baby to help hit these milestones and other developments down the road.  It's super straightforward and simple.  I love it.

Riotous Late Summer Tingles

I'm heavily into dog pool parties and other dog pool party related interests these days.

Today I thought I would share some bits and bats that are really putting the jive in my turkey these days.


1. This mock turtleneck poncho top from Forever 21 which is light enough to wear in 80° weather, but black enough to make me look like a witch (my favorite aesthetic).

2. Devil's Spoke by Laura Marling... is goth folk a genre?  It should be.

3. This makeup tutorial is the perfect summer to fall transition... nude lip for summer, berry lip for winter.

4. Opinion sharing time:  This should have been the song of the summer.

Get off my areola, indeed.

5. Planning on making these pretzel bread bowls and filling them with beer cheese soup very soon.  Hello Oktoberfest.

6. An important reminder:

I hope y'all are kicking this Monday to the moon!

P.S.  Only 19 days to go!

Tingles

I seem to be in a kind of cocoon/waiting room period in my life right now.  It's kind of cool because I think when your life quiets down for a bit you know that big exciting stuff is in the works.  It's a feeling I really dig.  So in the meantime I've been cultivating the art of finding things that make me happy just for the sake of being happy.

And in the spirit of sharing (or talking about myself... which, let's face, is the entire raison d'être of this blog) I thought I'd do a little show and tell about some of my recent tingles.

1. Welcome to Night Vale

I'm sure many of you have already known about Night Vale for months and months, but I am traditionally the last person on every cool kid band wagon so I just heard about it this week.  For those that haven't heard about it, Welcome to Night Vale is a bi-weekly podcast about a little town in the desert called Night Vale where a lot of weird shit is happening.  It's kind of like Rod Serling and Amy Sedaris wrote an episode of Prairie Home Companion.  It's truly very awesome even if you aren't a science fiction fan.

2. The Wire by Haim

This is a new song from super cool sister group Haim.  I love their sound... like some weird Stevie Nicks/Belinda Carlisle/mid 90s Liz Phair combo. 

3. The Daily Love

I'm a good news junkie.  I treat my happiness like a set of lost keys: I look for it everywhere.  This website/daily email newsletter has become such a highlight in my day.  The creator Mastin Kipp started The Daily Love as a twitter account when he was in the baby steps of his own spiritual journey.  It's crazy how almost every day Mastin's message in my inbox feels almost like it was written specifically for me and addresses something I am currently going through... like today, for instance:

How many of us can do that in life? Instead of demanding what we want and wanting it now, can we ask The Uni-verse for what we want, and then let go? Can we rest in the peace of the moment knowing we are provided for and that the perfect thing, which is probably better than what we asked for in the first place, will show up?

Do we really have the faith to live the maybe? Or better put, can we see that the delays of The Uni-verse are not Its denials? Can we let go and let things unfold naturally? 

This just really spoke to me and how I've been feeling lately... like all of my momentum has been put on hold.  I think I've been struggling to recognize it as temporary, and instead I've been worrying that I might be at a dead end.  I've been seeing lots of 'Nos' when really I've been getting lots of 'Maybes'.  I had such a great aha moment when I read this.

4. The rain

We've been getting Oregonian levels of rain around here.  I am in love with it.  Everything is so GREEN and beautiful.  The trees are actually growing moss and there are mushrooms everywhere.  It's majestic.  But I am genuinely sorry for the people with flooded basements.

5. This picture of a tiger living his/her best life.

Every time I look at this picture of a tiger relaxing in a waterfall I feel peaceful.  And I don't know where I am in this photo... am I the tiger?  Am I the water flowing around the tiger? Or am I the stone and rock on which the tiger lays and over which the water flows?  Do I care?  Nope.

Crushes: A History

Age 8 - Emilio Estevez as Billy the Kid in Young Guns 2

Age 11-13 - A kid in my grade (lets call him Kelso). One time in shop class he asked me about my book of Edgar Allen Poe’s poetry and I misinterpreted this to mean he was interested in poetry and had a poetic soul. Turns out he was just kinda dumb and really didn’t know who Edgar Allen Poe was.

Age 14-present - Jello Biafra and Graham Coxon

Age 15 - Joe. Joe was a senior and had an awesome tattoo on his calf. Sometimes he wore a kilt to school (this is the middle of nowhere in Kansas, mind you). He was really nice, and drove me home from school one day. I think he only did it because he was friends with my brother. I was silent during the entire ride.

Age 17 - Ben. I worked with Ben during the summer, and on his last day I didn’t say goodbye because I was too shy.

Age 21 - This 19 year old punk kid from Manchester on Livejournal. I have no idea what his name was, but he was definitely failing his college courses. He had a mohawk and the most kissable lips I’ve ever seen. I stalked his journal for 6 months, but never actually followed it because I was too shy.

Age now - No one. Well maybe this dude I saw at the Y a few weeks ago. He has red hair and a great beard. I call him Ginger Y, but I haven’t seen him but that once.

Tumblr Treasures

Have you kids spent much time on Tumblr?

I've been using it for about a year, and to say I enjoy it is like saying Keith Richards kinda likes cocaine.

A friend recently asked me what the deal was with Tumblr...  is it kind of like Twitter or Facebook?

I don't really have a great answer for those questions, probably because, like most things, you get out of it what you put into it, but in my experience it's a great place to spew out all of the batshit crazy things that rattle around in my brain... images, thoughts, music, Game of Thrones biz, photos of footballers, pop cultural references, and gifs  (oh my the gifs).  I think because the focus is primarily on a kind of immediate, short form, stream of conscious style blogging, it gives you a little glimpse into another person's inner life.

There are also a lot of moping teenagers on Tumblr.  But I speak moping teenager fluently so it's not a real issue for me.

But for every 5 moping teenager Tumblr blogs, there is at least one really interesting and informative or just plain fun themed Tumblr.  I thought I would share some of my absolute favorites as a kind of primer for those who are interested in taking a fall down the K-hole that is Tumblr.

1. Vintage National Geographic - scans of images from National Geographic magazines dating back to the 1800s.

Traders in Tonle Sap, Cambodia. May, 1982.

2. Beyonce - Yeah that's right, losers:  Beyonce is on tumblr.  So is the president.  But, more importantly, BEYONCE IS ON TUMBLR... and you probably should be too.

3. World of Mesopotamia - This is literally just cool shit from Mesopotamia: drawings, artifacts, statues, ruins, etc.  Sounds boring, but it really isn't.

Ancient Pazuzu statue.

Pazuzu is the Assyrian king of the demons of the wind. Though an evil spirit himself, he wards off many other evil spirits so was thought to be beneficial to mankind. The original was made to resemble a common representation of the demon, such as the one in the Louvre. Pazuzu has a dog-like head, human body, wings, eagle-talon feet and snake penis.

Snake penis, you guys.  Whoa.

4. The Rumblr - The Rumblr is The Rumpus' Tumblr.  A nice collection of quotes, articles, poems, random gifs and photos, PLUS Madame Clairevoyant's awesome horoscopes (previously discussed here).

5. My Friends Are Married - This is one of those overdone 'match a random gif to a random emotion' blogs, but its consistent accuracy and ability to make me laugh have secured its place as one of my faves.

6. Kors Metaphors - This one hasn't updated in 2 months, but it's still pretty quality for idle scrolling and mirth.

7. And these are just some random people that consistently use Tumblr to write very interesting, personal, and, of course, funny content that I always enjoy reading:

gowns
sashayed
dickpicoftheartist
synecdoche
drinkyourjuice

Okay... go forth and tumbl!

Not Directly Translatable

You know those lists of words that circulate various social media websites?  The ones that supposedly don't directly translate to an English equivalent?

I personally love them.  Here are some of my favorites:


Mamihlapinatapai (Yaghan): A look shared by two people, each wishing that the other will offer something that they both desire but are unwilling to suggest or offer themselves.

Pena ajena (Mexican Spanish): The embarrassment you feel watching someone else’s humiliation.

Culacino (Italian): The water mark left on a table from a cold glass.

El sbarlusega (Italian): Literally "the shining". A Venetian word for the reflections of water on buildings or ceilings.



 But here are some other things I thought of that may or may not have words in other languages, but definitely should.

• There should be a word for a mediocre day that follows a really great day.  It should encompass the feeling that your day was terrible even though you know it wasn't; it just couldn't live up to the euphoria of the previous day. 

• There should be a word for that moment when you know your friend is thinking the same dirty, inappropriate thing that you are, and you have to avoid making eye contact with them so you don't start laughing.

• There should be a word for the anxiety you feel watching nature documentaries knowing at any moment something tragic and heartbreaking is going to happen.

• There should be a word for the warmth you feel when you remember a summer day in the middle of winter.

• There should be a word for when you almost have yourself convinced you don't really like someone you know you shouldn't like, but actually you still do.

• There should be a word for the effort it takes not to roll your eyes or sneer when dealing with a particularly obnoxious co-worker.

• There should be a word for the very first sip of cold beer on a really hot day.

• There should be a word for the way reading or listening to or looking at some things hollows you out and leaves you breathless for at least 15 seconds... oh wait... there is (well a phrase anyways).

• There ought to be a word for standing in front of a painting and not being able to resist the urge to touch it even though you are in a museum and will definitely be thrown out if you are caught.

Now tell me some of your own.

Things And Such

1. Twinings Prince of Wales Tea

I have become one of those pretentious assholes who drinks tea.  Congratulations to me.  And I've been sucking this stuff down like it is mother's milk.

2. Anna's Ginger Thins

And everyday when I'm being a pretentious asshole, I am usually dunking these delicious gingerbread cookies into my tea. Really good, you guys.

3. This mug

This is my new pretentious asshole tea mug.  Or it will be when it arrives.  There's just something about a deer smoking a pipe next to the word 'tits' that makes me happy.

4. The Hobbit

I'm currently in countdown mode for Nerd Christmas (aka the day The Hobbit movie comes out in theaters), and in the meantime I'm drinking a lot of tea while re-reading this.  It's just as good as you remembered it.

5.  This short film/play

This is Sea Wall by Simon Stephens, starring Andrew Scott (of Sherlock/Moriarty fame). I hesitate adding this to this flippant list, to be honest, because this film (and my feelings about this film/play) deserves it's own epic blog post.  But if you find yourself with 30 free minutes and a desire to have your heart ripped out of your chest, kicked around the floor, and then gently placed back into your chest so that you will find yourself for days afterwards thinking about life, and God, and love, and the sea, and what everything you've ever thought about those things means.... well then maybe go here and rent or purchase it (it is only available to view online). Major feelings ghost material, you guys.

Weekend Things and Such

1. This weekend I ran.  I was not being chased.  I voluntarily chose to run on my Sunday morning walk.  At times I even sprinted.  I don't even know myself anymore.

2. SOCCER.  A lot of it it.  My brain is going to explode with soccer and happiness.

3. Pineapple.  You guys, I legitimately ate an entire pineapple this weekend.

4. I still can't believe Game of Thrones is over for almost another year. My Sunday night feels empty.

5. My nominee for "Hottest Player At Euro That I Didn't Previously Know or Give A Shit About" goes to this guy:

Simon Kjaer from Denmark.

6. This award will most likely change many, many times over the next month.

7. Skyscrapers by Demi Lovato is a song that can make me cry.  Also Nessun Dorma from Turandot performed by anyone.  I was not always like this, but over the years I have become a crier. It's obnoxious.

Also I'm a really ugly crier.

8. I woke up this morning thinking 'holy shit I can't believe it's only Tuesday'.  Ugh.

9. Passion fruit yogurt is a terrible idea.  It feels like you're eating yogurt that has dead roly-polys in it it. Ugh.

10. I feel like this list should end on number 10. So I'm just going to say that this is still making me laugh to an unhealthy degree:

Things and Such

1. The first week of my calorie-countin' diet thingy with my mom went very well.  I lost 4 lbs!  I can't even remember the last time I lost 4 lbs.  Huzzah!

2. To balance out the good feelings, I also got my period.  That is the opposite of Huzzah!  Blerg.

3. GENDRY WAS TOPLESS.

And the ladies of the internet collectively removed their underpants.

4. Also Jaqen.  Whoa.  Not topless, but Whoa.

Source.

5. Ygritte next week!

6. I spent most of the weekend lounging in bed reading books.  If eating had been added to the equation you basically have exactly what I want to be when I grow up.

7. I'm thinking about challenging myself to reading the 50 greatest books of all time according to this list. Obviously, that's a pretty subjective list, but I love a good concise list.  And a lot of them I haven't read.  Just an idea.

8. I feel like 7 is a weird number to end a list on, so this is item number 8.  Underwhelming, I know.

Blerg

Things:

I stayed up two hours past my bedtime watching Breaking Dawn and drinking cheap old lady wine.

And that is officially the saddest sentence I've ever written.

I wasn't alone though... that would have made it the saddest sentence in the history of sentences.

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I had to put skim milk in my coffee because I ran out of coffee creamer.  It's just awful, you guys.

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I didn't watch one single second of the Oscars because I don't think it's healthy to congratulate people who are probably already raging narcissists.

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I'm going on another cruise next January.

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Christopher Plummer in The Sound of Music was, like, the original DILF.

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I really like that new (to me) Gotye song.

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And I think that concludes the list of thoughts that are tumbling around in my brain this morning.

Truthiness

Here are some things I urgently need you to know about me.

1. I feel like this most of the time:

Or like this:

2. Three jobs I wish I had in no particular order:
     - Barker's Beauty on the Price Is Right
     - Christmas tree/pumpkin patch farmer
     - Roller skating rink DJ

3. I am incapable of remembering the 3 digit security number on the back of my credit card.  The 16 digit account number, however, I know better than my own phone number.

4. I get hungry for lunch at 9:00 a.m every day.  This is usually when I go to Pinterest and start torturing myself with pictures like this:

Source.

And this:

Source.

And then I wait 3 hours, heat up my Lean Cuisine, and sink slowly into madness.

5. Kate Upton is even giving me a boner, you guys.  I don't even know what that means, but it's true.

It's a shame they had so much trouble finding a bathing suit that actually fit her.

6. I simultaneously love and hate cute couples.  Here are a few of my current faves:

Crown Princess Victoria and Prince Daniel of Sweden. They just had a baby yesterday!!

Gwen and Gavin

Ellen and Portia

7. I have no idea what i'm doing.

Desert Island Discs

Have you guys ever heard of the show Desert Island Discs? Apparently it is quite an institution in the UK, having been on the air since 1942. Each episode the guest, or castaway, is asked to choose 8 records, 1 book (you are automatically given The Complete Works of Shakespeare and the Bible or a similar religious text) and 1 luxury item to take with them if they were stranded on a desert island.

For instance Ricky Gervais chose a coffee table book of art and a vat of Novocaine, Stephen King chose the collected poetry of W.H. Auden and a water hammock, and Stephen Hawking chose Middlemarch by George Eliot and creme brulee.

The great thing is that the guests are truly important, interesting people... politicians, authors, chefs, poets, and, of course, actors and actresses.

I have a feeling that if an American network ever chose to rip this show off the first guests would be either Pauly D or Tila Tequila.  One can only imagine....

FHM magazine and a bottle of ritalin? The collected poems of Jewel and a Mystic Tan booth?

So I started doing my one of my favorite things... thinking about myself. NO... well YES, but I started trying to decide what I would take with me to my desert island.

This is what I came up with.

Discs:

1. A Town Called Malice - The Jam

2. Bring It On Home - Sam Cooke

3. Soothe Me - Sam and Dave

4. Atmosphere - Joy Division

5. Blackbird - The Beatles

6. Temptation - New Order

7. Bridge Over Troubled Water - Simon and Garfunkel

8. Fairytale of New York - The Pogues

Book:

The Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas

Luxury Item:

My pug, Henry... or at least a picture of him.

Leg Lamp!

I totes got my first ever award thingamajig! A major award, you guys!

Must be Italian!

B at The Opposite of That has been so encouraging and kind to a know-nothing rookie blogger like me.  Her comments are just slices of fried gold awesome.  Thanks for the award, B!

So this award comes with a little bit of homework.

Here are the rules:
     1.  Copy the award image into a post.
     2.  List 10 things that make you happy.
     3.  Tag 10 bloggers who brighten your day.
     4.  Put in a link to their blogs.
     5.  Notify the award receivers.
     6.  Recipients should link back to the sender’s blog.


Here goes nothin'...


Things that make me happy:


1. My pug, Henry
2. My parents, two of my best friends. I for realz won the parent lottery, you guys.
3. My best friend, Kamielle... for giggling over sappy romance novels with me.
4. Cake... all of it.
5. Daydreaming about my upcoming vacation... I will be on a beach in Jamaica in less than one week!
6. Watching my stories (The Young and the Restless) with my mom everyday.
7. A kicky new nail polish.
8. Cooking and baking for my family and friends.
9. Doing something creative every day.  
10. Zzang! candy bars from Zingerman's.


10 blogs that add some sunshine to my morning coffee:


1. The Sunset Lane - Kari is hilarious, creative, and just a swell broad.  I just love people who GO and DO THINGS instead of always talking about it... and that is exactly what Kari is like.


2. Mama, Love + Style - If ever you need proof that motherhood does not require donning a pair of mom jeans and a Quacker Factor oversized t-shirt, Lindsey is that proof.  


3. Simple Musings - She's open, she's honest, she's funny, and she has a pug.  And her name is Jessica.  We're pretty much a match made in heaven.


4. Poke the Rock - In my dreams I am this funny and creative. It's never going to happen so I just read this blog instead.


5. Mayor Gia - Reading Gia's blog is like reading a really funny picture book for adults. And that's a really good thing.


6. Jen but Never Jenn - Again with the funny and creative ladies! Jen is like if Liz Lemon moved to Canada and tried to be a 50s housewife for 2 weeks.  Also her pantyhose fell down on a busy street one time so we're pretty much soulmates.


7. The Freelancer's Fashionblog - Ulrika is from Finland and she is in a burlesque group and she wears amazeballs vintage clothing and she used to do these great hair tutorials and I just really like her blog. And run on sentences.


8. My Favorite and My Best - Her American Horror Story recaps were pretty much better than the actual show, and now she's doing Downton Abbey recaps and I'm reading them even though I haven't had a chance to watch the show (it's totes on my 'to watch asap' list).  One time her blog was down for like 2 days and I nearly had a conniption.


9. Sweetheartville - I found this blog one day when I googled 'beauty operator' and I found this Oklahoma lady's super awesome amazing blog and her super awesome amazing Etsy store.  I got like 3 Christmas presents for people from her.  You guys, I just love the whole aesthetic of her life.  It inspires me.


10. I Suwannee - Jamie owns this store 'Furbish' in South Carolina, and it's pretty much the store I would own if I ever owned a store (if you know what I mean).  Her style is modern, but not sleek.  It's feminine, but not fussy.  It's just colorful and joyous and fun.