Imaginary Boyfriend Thursday... Euro Semi-final Edition!

I have a new edition of Imaginary Boyfriend Thursday up and running at Presh To Death featuring stellar representatives of the German National Team and the Italian National Team... including a little suit porn!  Huzzah!

Summer Funk

Well at 7:00 am this morning it already felt like an armpit outside... so we've officially hit the part of summer where I rarely leave the air-conditioned confines of the indoors.

And I'm realizing that it's well into the summer months and I haven't done anything even vaguely summer-y.

I haven't gone to a lake.  I haven't gone swimming. I haven't had a picnic or eaten watermelon or whatever the fuck it is you are supposed to do in the summer.

Mostly I've driven back and forth to work and watched soccer.

My life is at a nadir of boredom.

I need to stir things up a little. So that's what I'm working on this week.

In the meantime,  here is what I've been listening to on an endless loop:

1. Usher - Hot Thing (featuring A$AP Rocky)

2. Lady - Yankin (NOT SAFE FOR WORK OR LIFE YOU GUYS)

By the way, have we ever discussed my unironic love for incredibly filthy rap music?  Probably not because I don't really have an explanation for it.

3. Amanda Blank - Something Bigger, Something Better

4. Lucifer - Jay--Z

5. Primadonna - Marina and the Diamonds

Imaginary Boyfriend Thursday is Alive and Well!

Hey, you guys!

I fan-casted Magic Mike for Imaginary Boyfriend Thursday, but I did it over on my Tumblr, Presh To Death.

You should totes check it out!

Important Blog Announcement!

Well, you guys, I've reached a decision.  I've been thinking about it really hard for a couple of weeks now, and I think I'm ready to go for it.

Basically, I'm not going to be updating this blog as much anymore.

I'm not quitting you, and I'm not quitting all together.  Just scaling back.  Not that anything I did here could ever be construed as "grand", but I have tried to post nonsense on the reg at least.

I'm keeping the blog because I still read a lot of your blogs, and also because I like it.

Here's the thing:  I started this blog when I was supposed to be taking a break from the internet.  I was taking a break from the internet because I was trying to write something potentially publishable.  I have yet to finish that something potentially publishable, and I think I need to work on that some more.

In the meantime, I have started a Tumblr blog called Presh To Death.

Why Tumblr, but not this blog?  Tumblr is easy, you guys.  It requires a minimum of effort, and it's super fun. But I also find a lot of creativity and inspiration there.  I hope you'll check me out.  For realsies.

I'm really excited about the idea of focusing my creative energy on this writing project right now.  I feel like by doing so I'm gaining a teeny-tiny foothold on making my dreams come true.

Champagne pyramids all around!

Mental Patient Songs!

Let's talk about the songs that are currently in very heavy rotation on my iPod, but, first, an update on yesterday's imaginary boyfriend.

You guys, apparently my imaginary love has supernatural powers because Baby Nando scored 2 beautiful goals against Ireland yesterday!

Yep, that's right.  Apparently another thing Lil Kim and I have in common is a magic box.

We're basically the same person to be honest.

Okay... so this week I've been on a hip hop/rap/R&B kick.  These are the songs I've been listening to like it's my job.

1. A$AP Rocky - Goldie

Okay... first of all I definitely want to change the name of this blog to 'It's Je$$!'... also I'm a sucker for any rap song that references Maison Martin Margiela.

Bestill my avant garde fashion loving heart, you guys.

2. MIA - Bad Girls

No explanation necessary... I mean it's MIA and she can pretty much do no wrong in my eyes including giving the nation the middle finger during the Super Bowl.  I will ride or die with her.

3. Drake - Headlines

I know the cool thing to do is make fun of Drake, but I unironically love him and his music.  YOLO.

4. Azealia Banks - 212 (featuring Lazy Jay)

I'm sort of in love with this song right now.  It makes me feel like I could run a hundred miles per hour.

5. Nicki Minaj - Starships

I guarantee you I will hate this song in about 3 weeks, but right now it is still awesome.  So I'm going with it.

Imaginary Boyfriend Thursday... Inanimate Object of My Affection Edition

I'll be honest, I'm very tempted to choose this bathtub as my imaginary boyfriend this week:

Because I am completely infatuated with it.

On a side note, I have actually seen a documentary about women who are in love with inanimate objects... so it's totally a thing.  One lady was married to the Eiffel Tower and had been in a long term relationship with her bow (she was an Olympic archer or something).  It was.... interesting.

You guys, I'm already enough of a weirdo.  I don't need to add 'married to a bathtub' to my list of idiosyncrasies.  So I'm choosing an actual person this week.  And that person is:

Spanish striker Fernando Torres!

Fernando isn't having the best season, so let's hope being my imaginary boyfriend will give him the confidence boost he needs to play well against Ireland today.

Weekend Things and Such

1. This weekend I ran.  I was not being chased.  I voluntarily chose to run on my Sunday morning walk.  At times I even sprinted.  I don't even know myself anymore.

2. SOCCER.  A lot of it it.  My brain is going to explode with soccer and happiness.

3. Pineapple.  You guys, I legitimately ate an entire pineapple this weekend.

4. I still can't believe Game of Thrones is over for almost another year. My Sunday night feels empty.

5. My nominee for "Hottest Player At Euro That I Didn't Previously Know or Give A Shit About" goes to this guy:

Simon Kjaer from Denmark.

6. This award will most likely change many, many times over the next month.

7. Skyscrapers by Demi Lovato is a song that can make me cry.  Also Nessun Dorma from Turandot performed by anyone.  I was not always like this, but over the years I have become a crier. It's obnoxious.

Also I'm a really ugly crier.

8. I woke up this morning thinking 'holy shit I can't believe it's only Tuesday'.  Ugh.

9. Passion fruit yogurt is a terrible idea.  It feels like you're eating yogurt that has dead roly-polys in it it. Ugh.

10. I feel like this list should end on number 10. So I'm just going to say that this is still making me laugh to an unhealthy degree:

Something More Important Than Tom Hiddleston

You guys, have you seen the Shiba Inu Puppy Cam?

I think when you get to heaven the first thing you see will be
a line of sleeping dogs with their paws sticking up in the air.
I hope so.

It's basically melting my soul into a puddle of pineapple sherbet and maple syrup.

Seriously, I watch it and it's like I can feel my heart about to explode, but in a really good way.  You know what I mean?

You should try it and see.

Imaginary Boyfriend Thursday... Love at 3rd or 4th Sight Edition

When I first started tooling around Tumblr I had 2 questions:

1. What does 'tbh' mean?

and

2. What is a Loki?

The first question I was able to clear up pretty quickly by getting out my old trusty copy of the Oh No They Didn't User's Glossary.

The second was a little more tricky.

My initial image searches turned up pictures like this...

And I was like okay. He's alright, I guess.

And then 4 to 15  hours later after I stared at some of these...

... I pretty much did a nose dive right onto the Tom Hiddleston bandwagon.

So it was a slow burn with me and Mr. Hiddleston, but our love is strong.  It shall endure.

What I Am...

Reading...

Eating...

Thinking about...

Watching...

Listening to...

Lusting for...

And those are just a few of my current favorite things.  Especially the pineapple.

Why Not?

What I Wish I Wore 20 by luxlis featuring pendant necklaces

For lack of anything interesting to say I'll just put this here, because I really do wish it is what I
was wearing today.

Also, I've just now decided that the day I hit the 100 lbs lost mark I'm buying myself a 

fancy, grown-up watch.  Because I fucking well deserve it.

A Day In The Life

So last week work got kinda crazy, and then there was the Game of Thrones season finale last night which, you guys, I can't even talk about yet.  Just a lot of feelings.

So what happened in between?

Not much, but I'm going to tell you about it anyways.

Have I ever told you guys that I live with my parents?  Yeah.  I'm that person.  I am the 30 year old woman that lives with her parents.

It's a long story, and not a super fun one involving job loss, anxiety, and the death of a family member.  The good news is that my parents are rad so I kind of enjoy living with them.  I fully intend on moving out at some point, but for the time being I'm pretty okay with staying put.

Also, you guys, in Spain it is like 100% normal for adult children to live with their parents indefinitely. So, in a way, it's very European and sophisticated of me.

That's what I keep telling myself anyways.

Okay so last week I started to get a cold, plus I was crazy busy so I pretty much planned to do nothing this weekend.  Also my parents were both away for the weekend so I had the house to myself (Party! Shenanigans!!).

Here is what I did on Saturday to the best of my memory:

7:00 - Awake
7:15-7:45 - Feed dogs
8:00-8:15 - Feed self
8:15- 9:00 - Debate taking morning walk
9:00 - Get sick of listening to debate in own head, leave for walk
9:00 - 10:15 - Walking
10:20 - 12:00 - Find nothing on television, decide to watch the entire first season of Girls on HBO On Demand
12:00 - Feed self (Tostada!)
12:30 - Finally shower
1:00-2:00 - Nap time!!
2:00-5:00 More Girls (periodically interrupted by wandering into the kitchen to eat things)
5:00 - Decide I should sit outside for awhile and enjoy the nice weather.  Get sick of it after 10 minutes and go back inside.
5:30 - Dinner time!! More tostadas!!!
6:00 - Regret eating dinner so early.  Vast stretch of time remaining between now and bed time during which I should not eat anything else.
6:00-7:00 - Try watching X-Men First Class on HBO (you guys, it's so bad.  So many great actors, how can it be so bad?!  Michael Fassbender couldn't even fix the terrible writing)
7:00 - Give up on X-Men.  Wander into kitchen.
7:00 - Toast with peanut butter
7:05 - Cookie dough
7:15 - More cookie dough
7:30 - Try watching Hall Pass on HBO (you guys, this one is so bad too.  I will laugh at almost anything and this is just awful.  And why is Joy Behar from The View in this movie? Ugh. The worst)
7:45 - Pineapple.  I eat an entire container of pineapple.  At least it's fruit?
8:00 - Decide to take a chance on Dinner for Schmucks (best decision I've made all day. Hilarious)
10:00 - 12:00 Re watch old soccer game I have saved on DVR
12:00 - Wash face and remove contacts
12:15 - 12:45 - Reading A Clash of Kings (Game of Thrones book)
12:45 - Asleep

As you can see my life is non-stop socializing and partying.  It's basically like an episode of Sex in the City but with more sex, drugs, and rock and roll. And cookie dough.