I don't own a Balenciaga bag. I don't own a knock-off Balenciaga bag, but I felt that this bag most accurately represented the slouch of my canvas messenger bag which I bought off of Etsy.
Neither do I own a Tory Burch wrap bracelet or a David Yurman pave diamond bracelet. What I do own are two $4 bracelets I bought from Sam Moon that look kinda sorta like these.
Also, my Target wedges don't have that much platform because I'm already 5'8" and I don't need to walk around like Frankenstein towering over everyone and frightening children.
I do, however, own these exact trousers from Old Navy and a white Fossil watch.
So now you know.
Oh and here is a rough approximation of all the shit I put on my face this morning to achieve a "natural" look.
I'm about as natural as Kim Kardashian. It takes a lot of work to look this average, you guys.
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True story: my husband said "why does your face look like that?" I touched it panicking and pulled out a mirror, "LIKE WHAT?" "So smooth and natural?"
ReplyDelete"Oh, it's the natural look. It just requires moisturizer, face primer, foundation, powder, blush, eye primer, 3 different eye shadows, eye liner, mascara, lip liner, plumper, and gloss."
Husband just blinked uncomprehendingly.
"Don't get me started on all the products to get this natural fresh out of the shower tossled I-didn't-try hair".
Women- we work hard to look mediocre.
I forgot all of the primers. I use so many primers. And the brushes involved in all of this. Just a pile of brushes.
DeleteSo, as a guy, I probably don't have too much to share re: clothes, but I wish I was a little thinner because the sharp Mod suits from 60's London are cool as.
ReplyDeleteThough I do appreciate the dry humour of your writing, regardless of content!
Aw shucks... thanks!
DeleteI'm a sucker for those Don Draper suits myself. Most ladies are.
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