January 18, 2013

Auf Wiedersehen, Asshole.

I'm on vacation, kids!

That means 10 whole days without your pal Jess.  BUMMER SUMMER. I know.

I do have a couple of things scheduled to post while i'm away, but in the meantime just write me love letters and work on this homework assignment:

I need you to tell me the kinds of things you'd like me to write about more.  I can obviously talk forever about nothing and pretend people care, but what kind of stuff are you actually interested in reading?  I'm dying to know.

I feel like my last blog post before vacation should be more profound and thoughtful just in case I die... so here are the three greatest lessons I have gleaned from life:

  1. Never put on pantyhose in front of a man.
  2. Close your legs to married men. (learned from observation, NOT experience)
  3. Always do things that terrify you.
Keep slow strutting across rainbows until I get back (probably married to a sea captain)!

1 comment:

  1. Oh how I envy you right this moment as I sit here at work gazing out the window into the gray sky shivering just thinking about the 21 degrees it is outside.

    In my head you are laying by the pool sipping a delicious frosty cocktail. The Captain walks by, sees you, nudges his second in command- demands he find out more about the gorgeous American (because aren't all the Captain's Norwegian?). You'll have a brief torrid affair with him before tearfully saying your goodbyes. You'll go home, back to cold dreary Wichita. A couple of weeks will pass and then one day... there will be a knock on your door. You'll open it and there... on the stoop... the Captain. He'll lift you up in his arms and carry you off into the sunset to live an amazing European life while I stand in the distance slow clapping and inexplicably yelling "WAY TO GO PAULA!! WAY TO GO!"

    I miss your musk.


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