Have You Ever Gotten A Boner Over A Dragon?

Because I maybe did during this week's episode of Game of Thrones...

Source.

In other news, it's currently 36° outside on April 23rd.

And in other non-downer news, I ordered this set of Golden Girls note cards to frame (glitter frames possibly???)...

Source.

This shizz is deloycious...

This video made me happy yesterday...

And this song did too...

Have a great day, cool kids!

Hippie 4EVA (and my new Game of Thrones boyf)

I'm going full hippie this week.

Something is just way off for me spiritually, physically, chakra-lly (??).  So I've decided to turn my one bedroom apartment into a thriving hippie commune (population 1) for a couple of weeks.

I'm going to be using flower essences and aura sprays (yes I actually bought this shit).

Also I will be meditating and doing something called the Five Tibetan Rites.

Also OIL PULLING.

Who knows, you guys... I could be detoxing myself into oblivion because my body is composed of 96% toxins and 4% cheddar cheese OR I could ascend to 8th Level Supreme Rainbow Vision Healer.  Either way, it should be a super interesting time for those reading this blog.


In other MUCH MORE IMPORTANT NEWS....

Guess who won the game of thrones this week!

PODRICK MOTHERFUCKING PAYNE.

Pod, what have you got going on in your pants?

Pod's dick game is apparently immaculate.  So immaculate that the prostitutes of King's Landing won't accept payment from him.

Pod is my favorite and my best for many, many reasons (and I already loved him like a love song), but now it's escalated to Beyonce/Jay-Z levels of true love for the two of us.  

Nothing of Note

Uneventful is a word I would use to describe the past week, but uneventful is okay... even more than okay sometimes.

It's been good to start settling into some routines after the upheaval of moving.  I realize that many people wouldn't still have bare walls and cardboard boxes sitting around their living room over a month after moving in, but, you guys, I'm a unique, special snowflake who has to process everything before she can really settle in to any given situation.

Don't you dare judge me.

In other somewhat eventful news...

My neighbor Lisa and I bought chairs for our shared porch this weekend.  So many porch beers this spring/summer, kids.  CANNOT FUCKING WAIT.

Oh and it's supposed to maybe kinda sorta motherfucking snow again tonight.  Jesusjosephanddoggystylemary go the fuck away winter.

I'm currently in an intense game of 'how rude and bitchy can I be to you before you figure out I hate you' with a co-worker.  This obtuse motherfucker will not catch a goddamn clue.

I'm up to running a full 15 minutes at a time (20 minutes total).  I say running, but the pace is really more like fast walking with a jogging motion added to make it look legit, but STILL.  I totally could not have even contemplated this feat a month ago.

Also, I'm convinced I look like this when I run (or walk with jogging motion):

And let's talk about the standout character from this week's episode of Game of Thrones:

ANGUY THE SEXY ARCHER!!!

Source: princessaryastark

The actress who plays Arya (Maisie Williams) is really living her best life.  Just hanging out with Joe Dempsie and this dude all day everyday.  On top of playing a universally loved character.  It's a good gig if you can get it.

Tumblr Treasures

Have you kids spent much time on Tumblr?

I've been using it for about a year, and to say I enjoy it is like saying Keith Richards kinda likes cocaine.

A friend recently asked me what the deal was with Tumblr...  is it kind of like Twitter or Facebook?

I don't really have a great answer for those questions, probably because, like most things, you get out of it what you put into it, but in my experience it's a great place to spew out all of the batshit crazy things that rattle around in my brain... images, thoughts, music, Game of Thrones biz, photos of footballers, pop cultural references, and gifs  (oh my the gifs).  I think because the focus is primarily on a kind of immediate, short form, stream of conscious style blogging, it gives you a little glimpse into another person's inner life.

There are also a lot of moping teenagers on Tumblr.  But I speak moping teenager fluently so it's not a real issue for me.

But for every 5 moping teenager Tumblr blogs, there is at least one really interesting and informative or just plain fun themed Tumblr.  I thought I would share some of my absolute favorites as a kind of primer for those who are interested in taking a fall down the K-hole that is Tumblr.

1. Vintage National Geographic - scans of images from National Geographic magazines dating back to the 1800s.

Traders in Tonle Sap, Cambodia. May, 1982.

2. Beyonce - Yeah that's right, losers:  Beyonce is on tumblr.  So is the president.  But, more importantly, BEYONCE IS ON TUMBLR... and you probably should be too.

3. World of Mesopotamia - This is literally just cool shit from Mesopotamia: drawings, artifacts, statues, ruins, etc.  Sounds boring, but it really isn't.

Ancient Pazuzu statue.

Pazuzu is the Assyrian king of the demons of the wind. Though an evil spirit himself, he wards off many other evil spirits so was thought to be beneficial to mankind. The original was made to resemble a common representation of the demon, such as the one in the Louvre. Pazuzu has a dog-like head, human body, wings, eagle-talon feet and snake penis.

Snake penis, you guys.  Whoa.

4. The Rumblr - The Rumblr is The Rumpus' Tumblr.  A nice collection of quotes, articles, poems, random gifs and photos, PLUS Madame Clairevoyant's awesome horoscopes (previously discussed here).

5. My Friends Are Married - This is one of those overdone 'match a random gif to a random emotion' blogs, but its consistent accuracy and ability to make me laugh have secured its place as one of my faves.

6. Kors Metaphors - This one hasn't updated in 2 months, but it's still pretty quality for idle scrolling and mirth.

7. And these are just some random people that consistently use Tumblr to write very interesting, personal, and, of course, funny content that I always enjoy reading:

gowns
sashayed
dickpicoftheartist
synecdoche
drinkyourjuice

Okay... go forth and tumbl!

A Weekend in Photos

Hangin' with the Matlock Crowd at Doc's Steakhouse:

I forgot to take a photo of our giant carafe of Franzia.  I don't fuck around when it comes to getting drunk at 5:30 p.m. on Friday, you guys.

Beer and cheddar fondue with the fam:

I didn't have the presence of mind to photograph the actual fondue probably because I was too busy applying it liberally to my face.  Surprise hit out of the assorted dip-ables:  granny smith apples.


Your NCAA bracket getting murdered by my (almost) alma mater:

This is 100% the only time you will ever hear my talk about basketball on my blog.  Probably.

For those that are interested in reading a dirty book along the lines of Fifty Shades of Grey (but not complete and total horseshit), may I suggest:

New chapters published every Friday here.  You can choose to celebrate Easter and the Lord's Resurrection any way you want... I choose to celebrate it by staying indoors and reading smut on the internet.  Different strokes, y'all.

And finally the Game of Thrones premiere:

Total success because the only king I care about, Roose Bolton, was featured for more than 2 seconds and was actually given lines to speak.

Another pointless Ros the prostitute scene almost ruined my joy... almost.