My Mom Taught Me How To Use the Scanner, Now You All Have To Suffer

I scanned a bunch of photos of myself so I could make strangers on the internet look at them. YOU'RE WELCOME.

For most of my childhood my dad had me convinced that I was born with a tail, and that the Doctor delivering me thought I was a monkey.  Also my hair stood straight up for a week after I was born.  I imagine it looked something like this:

Image from Google.

I'm not sure what I looked like because my dad wouldn't let my mom buy any of the newborn photos the hospital takes because he thinks newborn babies look "weird".  So I'm guessing this might be the source of at least SOME of my insecurities.

Despite what these two stories might indicate, my dad is awesome. For realsies.

Here's a souvenir photo of the fam at Silver Dollar City.

I question the historical accuracy of the costumes in this photo...I mean, my dad is a Civil War soldier, my brother looks like a pilgrim, I look like Laura Ingalls Wilder's more darling baby sister, and, apparently, they didn't even bother to find my mother a dress that fit properly.  But we still killed this photo. Look at those faces!  We look miserable... just like every person in every antique photograph you have ever seen! We are character actors through and through.

I developed a love of animals early.

My grandma's poodle, Killer, was stage left humming the chorus to 'Food, Glorious Food'.

I soon entered my awkward years... which continue to this day.  Here's a teaser:

This image is the property of my former neighbor Lorissa... I stole it from her Facebook.  I couldn't resist.

Yep, that's me pretty much owning a sweet New Kids On the Block t-shirt at my neighbor Lorissa's birthday party.

I am humbled right now by my childhood awesomeness.



Scanner Apocalypse Part II: The Teenage Years... Coming Soon!