Truthiness

Here are some things I urgently need you to know about me.

1. I feel like this most of the time:

Or like this:

2. Three jobs I wish I had in no particular order:
     - Barker's Beauty on the Price Is Right
     - Christmas tree/pumpkin patch farmer
     - Roller skating rink DJ

3. I am incapable of remembering the 3 digit security number on the back of my credit card.  The 16 digit account number, however, I know better than my own phone number.

4. I get hungry for lunch at 9:00 a.m every day.  This is usually when I go to Pinterest and start torturing myself with pictures like this:

Source.

And this:

Source.

And then I wait 3 hours, heat up my Lean Cuisine, and sink slowly into madness.

5. Kate Upton is even giving me a boner, you guys.  I don't even know what that means, but it's true.

It's a shame they had so much trouble finding a bathing suit that actually fit her.

6. I simultaneously love and hate cute couples.  Here are a few of my current faves:

Crown Princess Victoria and Prince Daniel of Sweden. They just had a baby yesterday!!

Gwen and Gavin

Ellen and Portia

7. I have no idea what i'm doing.